My life as the mother of THREE!!

Don't pass out or anything...

2009-11-06T15:38:00.001-06:00

I'm back! I have not posted since January! Holy Heck! Well now that I've added google to my favs bar, i'm sure I'll be posting more often. I've become an avid facebooker and love it and I will try to pick this back up too!

Hope all is well!

one more thing...

2009-01-12T11:10:00.003-06:00

To add to my issues, in the process of cooking stuffed Jalapenos I made the fire alarms go off in our house which made each child scream at the top of their lungs which made my husband scream at the top of his and throw the phone at me because the security people would be calling any second and it was MY fault (holding one child, one more attached to my leg and one screaming in the tub) then I threw it back at him because I suddenly couldn't remember the password to keep them from sending the proper authorities!

AND, I learned you can NOT silence our alarms...the security people have to do it....remotely...an it is loud....VERY loud.

I'm sure I will look back at all this SH*T and laugh...but today......it's QUITE the opposite!

My weekend, this is long...and horrible.

2009-01-12T10:31:00.004-06:00

So I'm going to spill about my weekend. It was bad, actually all of last week was too. I'll start with Cohen. The death of me for sure. He is still sick, yes he is getting better but something is very wrong with the kid. He has whined and cried and screamed and hung on my legs the entire weekend! Saturday I knew for sure I was going to lose it. I turned to my good 'ol friend Mr. Prozac. I had no choice. I could feel the shakes coming, when he cried or whined for no apparent reason other than to annoy my I felt this overwhelming horrible feeling of anger, frustration and I wanted nothing more that to get physical. I didn't of course, but *oh my God* I could have. The kid has no fever, his nose is not stuffy anymore and his cough is much better, no obvious signs of distress.

We took Caleb to the Monster Truck show on Saturday night and left Kinser and COhen with Judie and PW. It was a MUCH welcomed relief from him. The very SECOND I walked in the door he started up again. They just looked at him with this look of shock on their faces. They said he had not done that ONE TIME since I'd been gone! He immediately became destructive and whinny. What have I done? I felt all the anger come flushing back. Loaded the kids and came home, thankfully he fell asleep in the car and stayed in his bed all night, thanks to the 10:30pm bedtime.

This brings me to Sunday. It was much the same, only add a fussy Kinley into the mix. She didn't feel well. By the evening, I had a much better grip on my emotions this time. Dr. C says it takes 30 days to take effect, I don't believe this. It always works pretty fast for me, I'm sure not fully but to some extent it takes effect. Anyway, I had Bubba here to help too. He took Caleb to sign up for T-Ball (go CALEB!) and I went to HEB (no choice) with Cohen and Kinley. That went well the first 10 minutes then it became a war. I hurried out as fast as possible grabbing only the necessities. I almost yelled at the people in front of me at the check out for starring. HAVE THEY NEVER SEEN A TWO YEAR OLD THROW A FIT?!?!? COME ON! That really pisses me off! If I see someone else in that situation, I feel for them and pay it no attention as it should BE! IDIOTS!

Ok, better now. On to Sunday night! Bedtime, we decide to put them down early since they were obviously exhausted from the late night before and the short nap. 7:30 - Cohen screaming as usual for me and anyone else NOT in the room with him. 8:00 Bubba comes out and hands the reigns to me, obviously distraught. No, good. COhen is out of control. He can't breathe, let alone tell me what's wrong. He has worked himself up so much, it angers me. I take him to my room and try to calm him down. I finally get out that his tongue hurts.....WHAT? Where that came from I have no clue. I look at it, looks normal to me. Cohen screams and screams. This is not a normal cry, it's not really a cry of pain...more a 'mom I want your head to explode cry' As LOUD AS POSSIBLE! I finally try to medicate it with topical lidocaine.....works for a minute then he freaks cause he can't feel it. Then I'm worried he will bite it, he didn't. Whaling continues, I offer an ice pack, he accepts. That works for a few minutes until his tongue thaws then he whales again. By this time I had discovered something must really hurt. He is soooooo tired and falling asleep between ice pack applications but he tosses and turns and crys and moans.

If I had insurance I would have hauled his ass to the ER for tranquilizers or something. NOw his ear hurts. I had already given him tylenol but that never seemed to help with his ear or his tongue. Bubba finally gets Caleb to stop talking and fall asleep so he comes to bed. His nerves are shot after a few minutes of listening to this. He offers him milk, Cohen perked up for that. He drank his milk - SILENTLY - ahhhhhh, I was so relieved. Then the milk ran out, back to whaling!

I decide (at 10:45pm) to take him for a drive. Load him in the car, cuddle him with a blanket and off we went. I DID NOT GET OUT OF MY DRIVE and there was silence.............complete silence! THANK YOU JESUS AND THE MAKERS OF CARS AND THE RADIO PLAYING OLD COUNTRY SONGS!!!!!! I drove for 20 minutes to make sure he was out. Yes, it worked. I was afraid he would wake when I took him to his bed but he didn't. I finally got into bed and was falling asleep when I heard him again..............for. the. love. of all that is holy. please help me!!!!!

I put him in our bed and he whimpered and was out again. Bubba went back to sleep with Caleb to give us more room. I did NOT care what position Cohen wanted to sleep in as long as he was sleeping. He woke up at 2:30am for a drink and more complaining about his tongue. A light bulb went off in my head and below it was a sign **BENADRYL** it read! I put it on his tongue until he had taken his entire dose and we went back to bed. HE SLEPT!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!

I woke him this morning ( 7:15am ) asking him if he wanted to go play with his friends and he shook his head yes. THANK YOU!!!! I never heard another word about his tongue or his ear!!

So, I ask you, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?!?!?!?

Pics

2008-12-31T08:13:00.008-06:00

Kinser's flower hat, from GeeGee

Kinley 'cheesin' and Aunt Nay Nay, Christmas Day

Caleb and his funny face!

Cohen and his prize possesion!

The boys on Christmas morning, SANTA CAME!!

Kinley on Christmas Eve.

Ummmm Misty....

2008-12-31T08:05:00.002-06:00

(Could you please email me the picture of Morgan from your blog, and one of Sawyer, and the one of you and Sawyer cheek to cheek please!!!! Fanks so very much! Hope you don't have to work ALL day! )

Well, I downloaded pictures from Bubba's game cam this morning to discover FOUR very mischievous raccoons stealing deer corn! Yes stealing. They reach inside the feeder and spin the wheel to release the corn! Stinkin VARMINTS!!! Judging by the times on the pictures they ate from midnight until 6:40am.....the ENTIRE TIME! You should see these things...they are SOOO fat!!! That's what tons of deer corn will do for ya I guess! Sheesh.

They are very cute though! One picture there are three sitting side by side looking right at the camera, looks like Larry, Curly and Moe posing for a picture! Anyway, no we know why we are going thru SO MUCH CORN on a timed feeder!

The color blue...

2008-12-10T17:36:00.000-06:00

I have NO idea where she found a blue crayon, but I'm sure the poop I get tomorrow will be interesting!

This one is so funny...she's like 'hee hee, oops did I do that?!?!'

Today...

2008-12-08T13:28:00.000-06:00

Look! Enough hair to hold a bow!!!! Yes, barely but it's HOLDING!!!

Give me that stinkin' camera!!

NO MORE PHOTOS, my nose is orange!!

My feverish boy still smiles for me!! So cute!

More pictures...

2008-12-08T13:18:00.000-06:00

The boys 'cooking' last week some time.

Kinley climbing my leg, saturday! I loved her outfit!

Kinley waking up!

2008-12-08T13:13:00.000-06:00

Here is Kinley a few weeks ago. This is the first picture I've taken of her when I walk in after her nap. Who would ever know she was just WHALING to get out! Happy little dirl!!!!

Sawyer and Kinley

2008-12-08T13:09:00.000-06:00

Sawyer and Kinley, eating dinner. Kinley stole Sawyers mashed potatoes! Thank you to our friend Misty for letting us borrow her children for a few hours. We had tons of fun and hope to do it again sometime soon!

Weekend!

2008-12-07T21:19:00.003-06:00

Wow, it's 9pm on Sunday already?!?! Where did the time go? I swear it was just Friday a few minutes ago. Kids are in bed. All I can hear is the dish washer. You know, they told us it was the 'quietest on the market' SH-YEAH RIGHT!!!
Anyway, I read that Megan was going to be released today. I can't believe that. They were told to expect months in the hospital and here we are at the TWO WEEK mark! That little girl is unbelievably strong and amazing. I am so happy for her and her family! God is listening!
Christmas shopping is almost finished for the kids! My tree still sits without decorations, stockings still in the storage bin. I feel like I got nothing accomplished this weekend. I honestly can't tell you what I did with my time! I must have yelled a lot or something. Not sure....
Kinley is cutting another tooth, I think. That will make number 7! She has been chewing and gnawing on everything in sight. Poor thing. She took TWO steps this weekend! I couldn't believe it. I tried to stand her up to do it again but she refuses! STINKER. No rush though!
The boys are doing great! Cohen is MUCH better in school and Caleb is still a great student! We are blessed! That's all for now!

Wow, I haven't posted in FOREVER!!!

2008-12-02T12:41:00.002-06:00

Hello to the one person who will read this! Sup Mist?!?! Dear friends of mine are in Dallas recovering from a terrible car accident. They have a blog and are posting pictures as well as posts with updates on the entire family. I will be following that. I know you can see who is following their blog and if anyone should venture to mine I just wanted to let them know we are praying for them. God has worked miracles with them and I am so thankful for that!

We love you Fauley's!!

Hello again

2008-10-22T13:29:00.003-05:00

Hello there...do you remember me? I used to post here frequently but I've been away. Obsessed. Addicted. Completely involved with someone else. Someone who does not exist.

You see I have been introduced to this...addiction.. and until it's complete I'm stuck like glue. I've been reading the Twilight Series books and loving them. I'm on the last one and I will be finished very soon. I think I may morn this! Seriously, the characters of this story effect every part of my day. I have to know what is coming next. I admit, I was never a reader. Never. Now is a different story. I love that I can completely escape reality for what seems like moments only to look up and it's been hours that I have lived in this....fairy tale. Surprisingly my husband has been fine with it, he has only hidden the book one time. My kids on the other hand, get irritated with me at times because I'm not getting what they want fast enough but all in all, every one is fine. Fed, bathed, played with, happy. I.love.it.

Kinley woke up feeling bad this morning. I usually am greeted by a huge toothy smile trying to pull up on her crib and babbling at me, this morning she was laying down, covered in crusty mess and trying to breathe. Holding her blankie. Eyes red. She did smile when I talked to her and reached to pick her up but she quickly rested her head on my shoulder. Poor girl. I felt so terrible for her. Seems to be only her nose but I know that can make you feel really crummy at times. I hope she is better this afternoon. My sugar bear.

The boys are fine. I guess. For now anyway. They have been arguing over EVERY LITTLE THING and it is making me CRAZY!!! Caleb is trying his best to make my head explode, I know it. Yes, we will get past this but SHEESH! They yell, scream, tug, hit, push and cry for whatever it is they are fighting over. Makes me insane. I have started putting them in time out and taking the toy away completely but this does not seem to work. They come out of time out, apologize to each other and immediately start yelling and crying again when they realize the toy has been taken away.

Anyhoo, I'm good and Hubs is great. They are installing blinds in my house as we speak. I'm excited to see. That's all for now!

This and that...

2008-10-09T12:57:00.002-05:00

Kinley got her ears pierced and looks super cute! I love them. Yes - she cried and yes - I felt like a horrible mother for inflicting unnecessary pain on my sweet baby girl BUT, said and done I'm glad I did it. And she is too, i just know it!! Hubs came home and told me our jeweler was going to market and would bring home princess cut diamonds for her pretty little ears. He said, "princess cut for my little princess". Awwwwww, sweet Daddy. He has always wanted a little girl to buy jewelry for, I guess it's not as much fun to buy for your wife and the mother of your children. *insert jealous snarl* I just told him they had better be tiny or I wont let her wear them. Her lobes are sooooo small. My pretty princess!!!

Cohen is doing super with his potty business. Although, yesterday he pooped and instead of telling me he was outside and pulled down his pants, took off his pull-up and dumped out the poop. Caleb came running in to inform me. He just told me " Nasty, Mommy!" Silly kid. He is getting the picture. I'm just glad it wasn't on the living room floor!

Caleb is great too. We are going to visit my sister for her birthday and he is soooo excited. We are stopping in Fredericksburg at the wildseed farms to visit the butterfly farm. I'm excited too!! I just hope they don't throw us out for Cohen squashing them. You know him and bugs....they don't mix. He LOVES to stomp on the poor unsuspecting creatures.

This will be our first family trip together. I'm excited. Pray for us! Three kids, in a car, for 4 hours. This could get ugly. Thankfully my MIL is letting us use her suburban and she is taking my Tahoe for the weekend. MUCH more room, and she has a DVD player. SUPER!!!

What is up...

2008-10-07T09:53:00.003-05:00

I SO wanted to blog last night but my internet bites so I didn't bother. After work I went to Sassy Fox to get an outfit I found on Friday, they didn't have it. Just my luck. I was so disappointed. I looked around and found another one I loved too. Tried it on and the sleeves were uneven which I thought was weird. I brought this to the lady's attention so she got another one to compare and it was definitely wrong. I tried the medium and it was way too big. I was so bummed because it was SUPER cute.

Depressed, I went down to J. Wilde's and it was horrible. It was like walking into 1972. I thought for a second I walked into a vintage shop or something. I found NOTHING. Went to the Carriage...no thanks. Sucks when I can't satisfy my need for something new and cute.

Anyway, I had to go grocery shopping and I think every person in town was there and their main goal was to piss me off. Family reunion in the middle of every stinking isle. Grandma on her motorized cart, slow as freaking Christmas. I HATED IT. All I wanted to do was go home, feel sorry for myself, and eat cake batter for dinner.

What is wrong with me?!?!?!

My evening did get much better, thank the Lord!!! My afternoon was VERY weird and NO I'm NOT pregnant!!!! Thanks for asking...

Kinley

2008-10-07T09:44:00.001-05:00

My sweet yiddle girl gets her ears pierced today!!! EEEK! I am so nervous, its' crazy. I have wanted to have this done for so long but always chickened out. I found out that her Pediatrician does it so I was very excited! I hope he does a good job!!! I dressed her super cute this morning and have my camera in the diaper bag. This is going to be a scrapbook page!!! Oh, I hope she does ok. I'm thinking of getting my second set done again this afternoon, just so I KNOW what she is feeling. I sound ridiculous I'm sure...

Yay for Cohen!!!!

2008-10-06T10:08:00.002-05:00

He is trying so hard to grow up on me! Stinker! Last night he told me he needed to potty so I followed him to my bathroom where HE took off his pj bottoms and his diaper, I put him up on the potty then he said.....'cose door Mommy, go way'. So I did. I left it cracked opened a hair so I could see him and he went pee pee!!!! YAY! I made such a big deal out of it and was smiling from ear to ear! I loved it.
Where the need for privacy come in at the ripe old age of 2 years and 3 months I don't know. I was a bit blown back by that but excited for him at the same time. Such a big boy. I'm buying him mini m&m's today to reward him each time he uses the potty.
Saturday he did the same routine but he climbed on my potty before I got there so I didn't see him go, not sure if he did but he was excited so maybe so. We have THREE toilets in my house and both boys have designated MINE as theirs. We all know how messy little boys can be and that is why I was excited that they would have their own. Didn't quite work out that way...

TGIF!!!

2008-10-03T11:16:00.002-05:00

I am so glad it is Friday! I get to sleep past 630am tomorrow....hopefully! My sisters are coming to town for an event, but I'm glad I will get to see them some of the time!! I miss them. Things have been very busy for us this week. Our dear friends father passed away Sunday and it has been utter chaos ever since. It was very unexpected.

It has made all of us look at our lives and what is most important. My mom was the same age as our friends dad. Which scares the living crap out of me! Are we really to that age that our parents start dying?!?!? When did that happen? I'm not ready for all this. Hubs and I are meeting with the lawyer next week to do our will. Our Will. What?!? Scary. I have the hardest time thinking about death. I hear people talk all the time about how they are not afraid to die because they will be in a better place and all that jazz. Well I realize that and I'm thankful for that but on the same token...I want my mom and Dad. I want my husband. I am not ready for them to 'move on'. Selfish, Yes. I admit that. I need them. I am not strong enough. Not by a long shot. We will miss you Benjie!!

My family is doing well! Yes it is Friday and the past two, I have had a child get sick by the evening, one hospitalized. I am beginning to DREAD Fridays. We will see if today breaks that horrible trend. Let's pray!!!! I sent everyone to day care this morning happy and healthy, I hope I get them back the same way!!! Bubba is great and I am great too!

Sleeping Beauty

2008-10-03T09:10:00.005-05:00

I don't have much time at the moment but I wanted to post a picture of my sleeping beauty. She was at her sitter and fell asleep on the Andy doll. She was sucking her thumb and drooling so when her sitter went to straighten her legs, after taking a picture of course, she raised her head to see Angie. Well, Angie saw blue on her cheek and panicked but quickly realized it was the blue dye from Andy's pants that looked like a bruise. Anyway, just wanted you to see my little miss noodle, she is SOOO limber!!

updates on....us.

2008-09-24T13:43:00.004-05:00

Today is so much better than yesterday. I slept well and Caleb had another great day. He hung out at home. He slept well, with me beside him no less. Off to school he went! He was excited too, he asked me to fix his hair..so cute. Thank you GOD!!!! I still run to him to feel for fever like a mad woman but I'm sure I'll get over that. His poor little hands and arms are all bruised up. Poor guy. He doesn't say much just points them out to me, 'that's where they gave me shots!' he says. I love him.

Cohen has been, dare I say, GREAT! No bad reports from school, he does great at home. Fingers crossed, he is over whatever his problem was. He is growing up. Boo hoo. He LOVES to see the deer come up at night. It's his new favorite thing. He will get everyone to the windows and sit there quietly as long as they are eating. He will whisper 'baby deer eat karn (corn), baby jump way (away)' he loves them. And I love him.

Kinley is growing up too. She has now figured out how to sit up from her army crawling position. She does the splits and walks herself up to a sitting position. It is so funny! I'm going to get her on film asap. She learned to do this over the weekend, while Caleb and I were in the hospital. Stinker! She has been giving lots of lovin' lately, I hope she isn't getting sick! I don't need anymore SICK!!! She was sleeping this morning with her bottom in the air so I ran and got the camera, snapped a picture and woke her up. She rolled over and smiled at me, that sweet sleepy little smile. Oh, she is so edibly sweet! I love her.

As for me, I'm feeling much better today. Not so weepy and sad. I still haven't figured out what my deal is but I think it's passing. Thank you LORD for that! I hate being that way. Feel like a bawl bag wuss....girl!

And Bubba, I'm sure he feels a bit neglected lately, understandably so. I miss him. I've been so caught up in sick kids and such that I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. I plan to make up for it...soon. I love him!!!

I'm blue...

2008-09-23T11:05:00.003-05:00

My weekend started with my plans to go to 'girls night' but ended up in the ER with my son. He developed a fever at daycare of 101. No big deal right! Wrong, just a few hours later it was 104! I had given him Motrin earlier and it just kept going up, tried a temped bath and that got it down to 99 but shot right back up 20 minutes later. I called to speak with the 'on call' doctor but they NEVER CALLED BACK! So when I read 104 on the thermometer, we were off to the ER.

One HOUR of waiting later it was 104.8 and the doctor came in. "He has quite a fever! He is a sick little boy!" Gee thanks, didn't know that! Then my thoughts were, holy crap the doctor just said... They took blood and an xray. Confirmed pneumonia. First thing, this kid has showed NO sign of being sick. Sure Thursday he had a cough but it went away and that was IT! How on earth could he have pneumonia?!? Then they told us his 'infection count' which is his white count in his blood was very high and he would definitely be staying. Normal white count is 5 - 15 and his was 25. Usually a high white count indicates bacteria so they grew a culture. No bacteria. They decided his pneumonia was caused by a virus he had. But that still did not tell us why his white count was so high. Saturday morning it was 33! I panicked. The thoughts running thru my head, well the hundreds of possibilities, was leukemia. I know, that is crazy but I'm a mom and I am in panic mode! High fever, high white count, all I need is the vomiting.

They started an IV, four adults and two nurses to hold down this terribly sick little boy. Oh, I felt so terrible for him. My mom was crying, Caleb was crying, I was crying. It was horrible. The most horrible thing of all was this....

While waiting for his results to come in, he was sleeping. Sally and I were talking over him quietly and his eyes open. She says 'hey Caleb" or something to that effect. I say something but his eyes dont move. I figure he is still sleeping. Then hell breaks loose. He can't see. He is calling out " I need you Mommy, I just want to see you Mommy, I need to hold you Mommy!" I am holding him and rocking him and right in his face telling him Mommy is here honey, it's ok. His eyes are flinching back and forth like a blind persons do. His pupils were HUGE and he couldn't focus on anything. He was screaming for me and I was right there and he couldn't calm down. I broke down big time and cried and tried to comfort him but I couldn't.... this ranks as the official worst day of my life. I will never forget it and I can't stop replaying it in my head, it's all I can think about. It. was. horrible.

The doctor came in and said it was his fever and he would be ok. Their brain kind of shuts off what isn't important at the time to try and take over what it needs to. This case, his sight. Though he told me this I couldn't make sense of his words. Here I was, a mother holding her 4 year old son who could not see her anymore. The only thing I wanted was for him to be able to SEE me so he would be comforted. That is all. How could he stand there so calmly and tell me it was ok?! There was nothing ok about that.

Three days later he is perfectly fine! He runs around like nothing ever happened. He remembers nothing of that terrible night. Thank the Lord! I however will never forget. I watched him sleep, I watched him eat, I left him for a short time to get a shower. I am having a hard time getting past this for some reason. I tear up super easy. I'm sure it's sleep deprivation, unbelievable stress and who knows what else. I love my kids even deeper than before. I don't care about my job, I don't care about money, all I want is a long nap and to be with them.....

Happy Hump day.

2008-09-17T14:50:00.002-05:00

Today is my first day back to work. I got here at 12. My sweet Kinser Lou has been sick. She has an ear infection, throat infection and snotty nose. She has had fever for a few days. Fever SUCKS! I have enjoyed my snuggle time though, she is trying her darnedest to grow out of it, stinker. But I have got tons of snuggles during the last 5 days.

I may not be here tomorrow either. My sitter has had this day planned for a while. I'm praying my mom or Bubba's mom will take, at least, the morning off so I can get a few hours. We will see.

My in laws came over last night to hang out. It was fun, they help out keeping the boys attention and such. Bubba has been playing in the dirt with the bobcat thingie. I'm so ready to have all this done and grass grown. No more tiny caleche foot prints on my wood floor! UGH!

Nothing much to report except...yesterday I was minding my own business, watching "Failure to launch" and eating cereal on the couch. I had just put kinley to sleep. And to my surprise here come 4 men walking across my back yard with a tub thing. It was the electric people laying the line to the shop. Why the surprise you ask?!? Well, I was in my tank top spaghetti strap thingie and pj pants.....nursing pad and all. I hauled ass to my room to put on clothes and brush my Mohawk down. I called my husband and told him to get the blinds people there asap, I am tired of giving a free show!!! The day before, the fencing people got one! SHHESH!

Happy FRIDAY!!

2008-09-12T12:52:00.004-05:00

I can't tell you how happy I am that it is Friday! I've been waiting all week!!! Last night went better. Cohen and Caleb got up one time. All though I did wake up with a growth attached to my leg around 530. It was Caleb, he really 'snuck' in my bed, I was so exhausted I never noticed! The first time he got up he tapped my shoulder until I woke up. Guess he figured out if he didn't wake me up he could sleep there!

Something funny my child did this morning still makes me laugh this afternoon. I was making cinnamon rolls for breakfast and he called my name and when I looked over and here's my son...

Pants pulled down enough to moon me and he says 'CHICK A CHICK A BOW WOW'!

Ok, this is one of those moments as a parent I'm required to turn my head and NOT laugh. As hard as it was I did it. He hung his head. I asked where he learned it and he refused to tell me. I told him it was funny here and right now but he was NOT to do it at school. I was dying inside, laughing my butt off. I told Bubba and he went back into our room so he could laugh! Things they come up with!

My Kinser Lou was SEVEN MONTHS OLD yesterday! Holy Moly, my baby is growing up so fast. I can't believe it. Her new thing to do is hold on to her car seat handle when I put her in the car and shriek and giggle and yell, either I'm a bad driver or she's gonna LOVE roller coasters. It is sooooo cute. I love it. She just holds on and makes all kinds of noises. I love to see her laugh, her teeth are so adorable I could just eat her up. My yiddle girl!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend! Come on IKE!!!

Sleep...

2008-09-11T10:07:00.002-05:00

Ok so, Monday nights sleep SUCKED and Tuesday night was much better, Wednesday night made up for that. I don't know what I'm going to do with these kids. They will NOT stay in their beds for nothin'. I attempted to bribe Caleb, yes BRIBE, I'm not ashamed of that either, I'm running on very little sleep and that makes for dangerous situations! Anyway, the bride didn't work.

The only good thing is Kinley slept great. I put the humidifier in her room and turned the fan off. She woke up happy as a lark with NO dried boogies on her little chapped nose. She is so sweet! She sits up like a champ now and is trying her best to crawl. She scoots around on her belly (army crawl) super fast!! Last night she was trying to find me so she scooted in the kitchen and I went to get the camera to video her and she got soooo mad at me, she was scooting and screaming at the same time. I can't wait to get my computer set up so I can send it out. If I can I will post it. Very funny.

Back to the sleep thing, I slept in every bed in the house, except for Kinser's. I had nightmares when I did sleep and I woke up with puffy eyes and blood shot eyes. Felt like soft balls. You could hide a snack in my eye lids they are so puffy. If anyone has advice I would GREATLY appreciate it on how to keep them in their beds. I'm losing my mind, literally.

Other than the sleep issue, I love our house. It is awesome. I can't wait to have time to unpack all our boxes and park my car in the garage. I can't wait to decorate! I did get a rocking chair for Kinley's room. I decided to get a white wooden outdoor one so when she is finished nursing I can put it on the back porch. Plus it was $78 instead of $200-400!! That's all for now, I need to go pump!!

OH, one more thing, Yesterday I got the boys superman pj's. They are super cute they have a cape and everything. The reason I couldn't resist was, my mother in law has a picture of my hubby wearing the same ones when he was about Calebs age! I loved it!!!! They flew around the house all evening! Too bad their super powers didn't' help them STAY IN THEIR OWN BEDS!!!

Ahhhh...

2008-09-09T11:02:00.004-05:00

Last night went SO much better. Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers. Bubba did all the walking I never left my bed. It was great. We woke up with one kid in our bed, neither one of knows when or how he got there. Sneaky!!!
After dinner we took the kids on the Ranger to check the mail and for a ride around our property. Loved it. Just before the rain, the wind was cool on our faces and it smelled wonderful. We saw three deer, one of them a little baby...soooooo cute! It really calmed the kids down. Kinley kicked her legs and smiled and looked around the entire time. She loves it too. Caleb sat in the back, talking as if we could hear him, and Cohen helped Bubba drive smiling from ear to ear. I loved that moment. Everyone happy, everyone smiling and everyone together.
After the ride and baths we all sat on the couch and watched part of RV on tv. BOTH boys sat there, I could hardly believe my eyes. It was 8pm and Bubba really needed to get Cohen in bed but we were scared to move a muscle, we just looked at eachother and at him waiting. It was amazing. Bubba and I were in bed at 9pm, house quiet all we could hear was the rain.... What a great evening.

Oops..

2008-09-08T13:31:00.002-05:00

I just talked to my husband on the phone. Called to tell me he loved me. How sweet. Well, apparently last night when he woke me up and i 'shut him down' I said something that I didn't remember until he reminded me. It wasn't very nice. Something like this...(in a VERY angry tone)...

'UGH, WHY DID YOU WAKE UP, I WAS FINALLY SLEEPING GOOD!?!?!? IF I HAD A GUN I'D SHOOT YOU!!!'

I'm really surprised he still apologized for waking me in the first place after that comment. Oops. Guess I told him.

What a day..

2008-09-08T12:22:00.006-05:00

Last night I had a revolving door on my bedroom. I got virtually no sleep. I went to bed around 10 or so only to be woken up by my husband around 12. No need to tell you what for but I shut that down faster than ever. He did apologize, which I appreciate. He said he just woke up and that's all he could think about....I told him to think about ice cream and go to sleep!! He did. Sorry if TMI.

Cohen came in around 1 or 2 and I made Bubba take him back to bed. Caleb came in shortly after and I took him back. He asked me to lay with him so I did for a minute...or 30.

Woke up to Kinley crying. She NEVER waked during the night, she kept grinding her teeth so I think she is teething. She did wake up stuffy though. I had to rock her to sleep which took some time to accomplish.

Finally get back in bed and start to drift off and here comes Cohen again. I take him back, he goes right to sleep.

I get back in bed start to drift off and Kinley starts crying again. I lay there Praying to God for her to fall back to sleep. Nope crying gets louder and more intense. I go get her and bring her to my bed to nurse her. She eats and whimpers and finally falls asleep, I put her back in bed. She sleeps the rest of the night.

I go to sleep for an hour or so and here comes Caleb again. By this time I give up and let him sleep with us. I'm so stinking tired I would let the dog sleep with us. Next thing I know I hear the alarm. It's 530. I don't give a shit. I go back to sleep and Bubba wakes me at 615. I get up at 630. Of course I'm grumpy as all get out, I have big dark circles under my eyes and everyone else in the house seems to be on cloud NINE!!! UGH. I just want to go back to bed.

This brings me to my morning. Which is NO better. I get here and there are a million orders to enter and I'm super busy. I don't' have a Pharmacist or a tech to help, which is fine but he wont be in until 10 or so and I have nurses with issues I need solved. Anyway, I start to unit dose Maalox....and manage to spill the entire 16 oz bottle in my lap!!!! HOLY SHIT, it is freezing cold and I'm sure has some kind of menthol something or other in it because it is burning my legs. I call for back up scrubs. The pants are 3 feet too wide and 4 inches too short, the shirt could fit three of me, I'm glad I have my jacket to cover up a bit of this hideousness. I didn't' get IV"S out until 1110. I didn't get to pump until 1130, an HOUR late. I made all kinds of mistakes and I'm so freaking irritated about them I could scream!!! Simple mistakes the kind you can't believe you made because any idiot could take one glance at it and get it right!!!

Bubba called and said Trinity called him because Cohen has bitten someone. UGH. He went to the office Friday because he sat in time-out THREE times before lunch for pulling hair!!!!

I need a vacation...

It's 12:42 and I'm going to lunch, see ya.

No time...

2008-09-05T10:54:00.003-05:00

My Caleb is sick. Fever 102, sore throat. His teacher was out with Strep Monday. I pray that isn't it. Dr. H is out today and I know Dr. P will want to 'wait and see'. Ugh. I am super busy at work today, admissions on every IV under that sun that I don't have. I wasted Primaxin this morning not paying attention to what the hell I was doing and made the weekend when it's only stable for 48 hours, wasted money and time. I'm irritated...

Got almost zero sleep last night between the sick one and the one who won't stay asleep in his bed. I'm exhausted...

Oh, one awesome thing..I got new dishes! I found them online so I called the store (Dillards) and they had almost all of them in stock. They are holding them for me. I am super excited about that. I had to order two bowls online with was no big deal. I can't wait to see them in my cabinet!EEK!

Talk more Monday, I have to relieve Bubba at lunch so he can go to work. Hope my day gets better, actually getting the dishes did make it better already! A nice long nap would be AWESOME! We will see what Caleb wants to do...

OUCH!!!

2008-09-04T13:14:00.004-05:00

Last night I went to put Kinley to sleep and I got stung by a scorpion. First time ever IT. WAS. AWFUL! Excruciating pain. I screamed and yelled and cussed like a sailor. I guess I racked my foot right across him and he got me good. The boys came running....

Cohen "happen...mommy?"

Me "I got stung by a scorpion, OH SHIT OH SHIT OHHHHHH", " Don't say that! DONT SAY THAT" ,"OHHHH"

Cohen "Bee... sting... Mommy hurt?"

Me "NO, SCORPION - GET MOMMY'S SHOE! OHHHHHHHH!"

Cohen 'pion...hurt??'

Bless the poor child. He was just trying to find out what happened but I was hurting like crazy. I can not explain to you the pain in my toe. It felt as big as my head! I thought at one time it would explode. The pain lasted about 30 minutes. A TERRIBLE 30 minutes. I would rather be in LABOR than be stung again if that tells you the pain I felt.

This morning there is just a red spot on the bottom of my 3rd toe little toe. Could it have found a more tender place?!?!?!?

In a nutshell

2008-09-03T10:07:00.003-05:00

Work. So much stinking drama who needs daytime tv! I'm sick of it. Rumors flying this way and that, I wish I had ear plugs. Then again...I want the juice! Isn't that funny. I will listen to people who I trust are speaking the truth or have something good but others I could keep on walking.

My house is wonderful. I love it. I'm meeting a man today at 4 for blinds and shutters. I love the openness of the windows during the day but at night..not so much. I know the only thing out there are deer and varmints but I don't want them staring either! I REALLY want to organize Kinser's closet and clothes. I can't seem to get in there for the life of me! Someone always needs me for something. I swear they know when I'm finally getting to it and the sensor goes off and I hear "MOOOMMYYYYY!" I walk away thinking "maybe tomorrow".

I have had a problem for the last three days and it's driving me nuts. I have clogged duct or something. I feel like I've been hit in the boob with a baseball bat! Honestly! I can feel my shirt, I can feel it if I raise my arm, it is super tender. I keep checking for heat or redness. I fully expect to see a massive bruise but nothing on the surface shows a problem. I have nursed her and nursed her with no relief. This is the downside to nursing. :(

Hello, I've missed you!

2008-09-02T10:51:00.003-05:00

It seems like years since I had time to post. I've been soooo busy. We got to move into our new house this weekend!!!! YAY! I love it. I still have soooo much to do but slowly it will get done. Our new bedroom suit is supposed to be delivered today. I'm really excited about that! I've never had one so this is big for me! My four year old has had two bedrooms sets and is sleeping on Ralph Lauren sheets watching a flat screen tv! (All thanks to Mere Mere no less). He is one spoiled little dude!!!
Cohen is sick today. :( Bubba had to take him to the doctor. He sounds like he has croup again. He had a major strider last night. I was super close to hauling him to the ER for a breathing treatment. My medicine had expired so I trashed it before the move. Don't you just love how that seems to happen. If you don't have it.....that is when you need it!! Dr. H doesn't seem to think it's full blown croup yet. He said whatever it is, it's in his vocal cords so he gave him zithromax. Let's pray that works. This does, however, explain his weekend behavior! WWHHOO! He was rotten. I contemplated my decision to become a parent!!
Anyway, that's all for now. I have to leave around lunch today so I will post more later!

YAY!!!!!

2008-08-28T13:14:00.002-05:00

We close on our house today at 4pm. Wooo HOOOO! I am super excited. We have 'walk through' tomorrow morning then the 'touch up' people will do their thing and it's OURS!!!! Whooo HOOOOOOOO!
I am so nervous about this my stomach is hurting like it did when I moved from Elementary to JR high. That was a bad year. I'm nervous about the $$$. Big bucks I'm sure. I have thus far refused to acknowledge it but come 4pm it will be right in my face. Eek.
I leave today at 1:30 to pick up my lock set and keys and take them to the house to be installed. I'm excited to see the progress of the day. I hope the fridge is in, I have been waiting to see that thing in my kitchen for sooooo long. It was to be my biggest thrill! We will see. Wish me luck. Wish my stomach luck. I'd hate to lose my biscuits at the title office. How embarrassing!

Revenge...

2008-08-26T09:02:00.002-05:00

In an attempt to make myself feel better I'm going to buy new dishes to go with my new kitchen that who knows when I will get to live in and enjoy. Sure my husband will be mad but do I give a rats butt at this point?!?!? I think not. I've been looking a few places but I want to see about a few more before I make my decision. I have half of Thursday and of course all of Friday to shop, so I'm taking advantage of it.

WTF!!!!

2008-08-26T08:34:00.006-05:00

I feel like all I do on this blog is whine, cry and complain BUT we all need some place to VENT so that we don't beat our husbands with a frying pan in their sleep. So here goes...

Yesterday my husband tells me that we might get to move in on Friday but more than likely it will be Saturday. Ummm, excuse me?!? Run that by me again because I'm pretty freakin' sure the last I heard we might move in on Thursday but for sure Friday, so what happened? They probably won't be finished. The Electrician will be in today, the plumbers are not finished hooking up all their stuff, the cleaning lady takes 2 days, and the touch up people take one day.

I.AM.PISSED!!!! I stopped talking to Bubba. I felt the blood flow to my cheeks and ears. I know every part of my chest and neck were covered in splotches. I was livid!!! This was supposed to be finished and us MOVE IN July 15, then August 15 then August 22, then August 29 and now not even then. I am so ready to tell them to shove this damn house up their a$$!!! Bubba does not even act mad and THAT pisses me off even more. It was Monday when they told him this, he damn sure could have chewed some ass and they would have got on it. WhatEVER.

So Friday I am off, because I'm supposed to be moving in...oh no I AM moving in. Bubba is going to take off to sign that's it. I am moving in. They can work around me. I want Cohen's room set up for him. Caleb will be on his way to Houston so we don't have to work on his for now. I can not express the level of frustration and anger I am currently feeling. I'm not sure there are words. UGH!! He is taking off Saturday (because he knows whats best for him) so I'm taking the little ones (I think) to my mom and we will set up shop.

5 days!!!

2008-08-25T10:18:00.003-05:00

I am probably the only person loving today but that is because I am ONE day closer to Friday-the day our house is FINALLY ours!!! I can NOT wait for Friday!!! Our weekend went fine. Saturday Judie and I went furniture shopping. She bought Caleb's mattresses to go with the bedroom suite she bought him a few months ago for our new house! Gotta LOVE G-ma's!! A super HUGE thanks to her!!!

Anyhow, I found a couple of bedroom suites for us so I called Bubba to come look....he didn't like it! UGH I could have KILLED him right then and there!!! I swear we have such different taste I don't know how we got together in the first place!!!! So we went to another store where we found nothing and it POURED down rain so we called it a day. Lugging a baby carrier in and out in the pouring rain is NO fun, I don't care how much the rain is needed!! We will try again sometime this week. We have never had a bedroom suite so we wanted one for our new room.

Sunday, I went grocery shopping with Judie, Caleb and Kinley. I was warn out by the time we got home! Caleb acted like he had never been in public before, typical 4 year old behavior I guess. Kinley was great, as usual. Then we took Sally and her parents out to see our new house. It is always exciting to walk in. We loaded the extra fridge with drinks and left. Judie had dinner ready when we got back. This is something I will miss dearly!! I really have had a fine time there. Yes, it sucks to share the bathroom with everyone, and constantly worry about my kids driving them crazy but all in all it has been fun. They are huge helpers. I guess that's all for now. Ciao!

TGIF

2008-08-22T12:44:00.003-05:00

I'm ready for this weekend. No getting up at 530 or 6am. YAY! Our house is coming along! WOO HOO. This morning they were pouring concrete for the drive and sidewalks. I'm so excited to move in I can't stand it. It should be ready in a few days, we close on Friday. Most of the appliances are in. I want to see the fridge in and of course that is the last one they will install. Just to make me suffer, I'm sure. Heehee. I can't wait to see it all clean and sparkly!
The kids are doing so much better. Thank goodness. They are calming down and getting used to being somewhere new. I just hate that once they get used to Mere Mere's house I will up and move them to our new house and I fear this behavior will start all over. Yikes. Let's just pray this won't happen!!
I was trying to think about what I am most excited about and it's really hard to decide but one for sure thing is Kinley's room. Oh, I can't wait to hang her clothes in her closet and organize her shoes and hair bows. Arrange her furniture and hang her decorations. OHHHHH, come on FRIDAY!!!!! I'm really excited about the boys rooms too! One sports and one Fire Engine room! They are going to be so cute! I hope the boys are proud of their new home! I know I am! That's all for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm going furniture shopping! YAY!

My BIG boys!

2008-08-20T09:39:00.002-05:00

Cohen's first day of preschool at Trinity began today! :( Two years old already! Can't believe it. He did ok. He went straight to the toys and played when I tried to leave he grabbed my finger and pulled his brother right along and told us to sit down. Guess he wasn't quite ready to say goodbye. I finally had to walk out and he cried. Oh, a piece of me wants to just die when I hear that. My heart was telling me 'run back and hold your baby!!' but my head made my body keep walking Caleb to his class. I checked on him later and he was sitting with the teacher with his bottom lip sticking out. Ohhhh, poor little man. I hope he does ok. I told her to call me if ANYTHING goes wrong.
Caleb was great...until we walked in to his room. Stinker. He was glued to my leg! The teacher had to peel him away and I walked out. Poor guy. I'm sure it will take a month or two for him to get used to the new faces and all. Daddy will be the one to take the boys from now on. Good luck to him tomorrow! I will take Kinley.

One more thing...

2008-08-19T14:04:00.002-05:00

Caleb and Cohen have 'Meet the Teacher' tonight! Wish us luck. Poor Cohen, he is so displaced. I hope he does well. Their first day is TOMORROW! EEK!! Caleb will do great, I'm sure. He knows everyone already so it's no big deal for him.

Cohen has Caleb's first Teacher. I loved her so I'm really excited for Cohen to have her too! Caleb still stops at her room every morning to give her a hug and say hello. It's really cute. Wish us luck and I will update you tomorrow. Bubba and I are taking them tomorrow so I'm sure I will be late. I scheduled myself for 9am. Oh, I don't want to let my little sugar bear go!

OMG!!!!

2008-08-19T13:55:00.003-05:00

I am sooo super mad! The bank pushed our loan back a week which means we will not close on our house until NEXT Friday.....the twenty freakin' ninth!!!! I AM LIVID! The loan officer said there are too many figures out and there is no way it will all be complete to sign by Friday. UGH! I asked Bubba if we can only sign on Fridays?!?! Surely if it's finished early we can sign early...NO, she locked that date in so she has time to get ALL the #'s from our builder and have all the papers drawn up and whatever else!!!!!!!!! I - AM - LIVID!!!!!

Bubba thinks that our builder will let us move in a few days before signing, but we would have to wait and see. He knows it shouldn't take them 10 days to finish. He counted up all that still has to be done and there are 12 things. This house will be the DEATH of me, I'm telling you!

So here's to another week and a half of living out of a suitcase and making sure I'm dressed before I run to the bathroom in the middle of the night and Kinley sleeping in her pack and play and Caleb sleeping between his grandparents with a huge smile on his face and getting Chocolate milk behind my back. UUUUUGH!!!!!

Happy Tuesday

2008-08-19T09:36:00.004-05:00

This morning went SO much better. I was so happy. I feel like we are imposing on Judie and Paul Wayne so the faster I'm out of their way the better. I was ready by 7am partly because Cohen didn't wake up so I didn't have him to deal with. Yesterday he sat with me while I was putting on my make-up so you can imagine how that went. Also Cohen slept ALL night without waking up! Go little man! I was so proud of him.

I can't wait for my bed back. My back is aching soooo bad during the night, even in my dreams. I remember walking around telling everyone I had to have back surgery and it was hurting so bad. Weird. Anyway, Kinley slept well and so did Bubba, finally. He has been waking up hot and tossing and turning which just about bounces me off the other side. Not fun.

Bubba even cooked breakfast this morning! Sausage and biscuits. Cohen's favorite. He came in my room and said 'Dadda... SAUS... eat!" He is so cute. I love that little guy! Caleb woke up in a mood. Surprise. Bubba sent Cohen to wake him for breakfast. Big mistake, but you know husbands. Lot's of screaming later Caleb saunters down the hall to eat and Cohen is right behind him....growling! Hee hee. Caleb is JUST like me in the mornings. Don't bother us until we speak to you and everyone will live happily ever after.

The funny thing about this is...Kinley can wake me or the boys after a night mare and I'm totally alert and loving on them or goo goo talking to Kinser but Bubba wakes me (or the boys for no reason) and watch out! Anyway, that's all for now.

One more thing..

2008-08-18T13:55:00.003-05:00

The GREAT thing about my husband dragging (yeah right) me to Hobby Lobby was........I found Fireman stuff for Cohen's room!!!! You have no idea how hard that stuff is to find! Crazy hard! I was sooooo excited! I bought the cutest picture frame and I know exactly which picture I'm putting in it, and a ceramic fire mans hat and a vintage metal fire truck. I bought letters to spell out his name on his wall and I'm putting these things on each side of it on shelves (I think).

I LOVE IT! I can't wait to tell my Mother in Law what I found! Maybe she will get more of it. They had ceramic book ends and figures and a fire hydrant penny bank...tons and tons of cute stuff. Best part...it's all 50% off! So i HAD to buy it! YAY!!! It totally made my day!

Lunchtime fun

2008-08-18T13:36:00.003-05:00

OK, so I would like to share my lunchtime frustration with you. We have to choose mirrors for our bathrooms....today. I just found this out so we decided to meet me at Hobby Lobby at lunch. We thought about the pretty framed ones as opposed to the traditional wall mirrors. Anyway, we look and look and he decides there are none he really likes but a couple he would live with for the boys BUT he needs to measure the walls first to make sure they would work. OK, helllllo MORAN! Why did you bring me here if you don't even know the measurements! I was SOOOO frustrated!

I suggested taking one and trying it out and bringing it back if it didn't work right, 'Ummmm I don't really want to, I want to measure first.' 'And besides I don't really want to spend this much money!'

Well, I have 40% off coupons printed off the net, does that matter?!?!? No. So I ask you, WHY don't we just use traditional ones and save the hassle?!?! Because my HUSBAND, wants something spectacular but doesn't want to pay for it. UGH!

TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME!!!!

update

2008-08-18T08:32:00.003-05:00

Exhaustion...that is all I'm feeling at the moment. We...or should I say I packed up the rest of the house and moved it to my In-Laws house Thursday. Friday the movers arrived to carry our furniture and major appliances to our new house. I cleaned our old house for the new buyer. I have never been so tired.

Caleb is doing great. He is on cloud nine to be with Mere Mere. Kinley hasn't missed a beat. Cohen and Zoe on the other hand, are not fine. Zoe has cried and whined and paced the entire time. Judie let her inside, where she has been ever since. She seems better when she is near us. She just lays on the floor and twitches. I think her arthritis is flaring up.

Cohen is terrible. He is throwing things and crying at the drop of a hat. He is not listening. I feel so bad for him. All you could hear this weekend was "COHEN!!" "COHEN PARKER NO!!" I know he is just acting out because things are different and he doesn't understand but ....come on! Last night when I put him to bed he looked up at me with those BIG BLUE EYES and said "Mommy...HOME!" Oh, my heart sank to my feet! I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I just gave him a big hug and a kiss and told him we have a new home and we get to move there soon. Geez, this Mothering business is soooo hard sometimes!

To top all this off, he starts Trinity on Wednesday. I'm so afraid taking him away from the routine of his home and 'Mrs. Angie' is really going to take him for a spin. He seemed so happy when I dropped him off there this morning. I drove the long way deliberately so we wouldn't have to drive by our old house. I did drive by afterward and let me tell you...it was hard. Different cars in the drive which seemed.... wrong, so I know he wouldn't deal with it well. I never would have thought this would be so hard for him. My poor sugar baby.

It really has been fine though! They are a big help. Especially since Cohen has gone hog wild. The only hard part is the bathroom. They are having one remodeled so we all have to share the guest bath. The other hard thing is...I don't really know how to explain it but just...I feel like I need to apologize to Judie for the messes and the yelling and Cohen's behavior. I am in her house and it has been turned upside down! She seems fine....although she has had TWO mudslides since we've been there. I must admit....I'm jealous. Ooops. Nursing Kinley hasn't been a big deal like I though it would be. She is pretty much a pro and they really don't notice. I do go to the room sometimes but I don't want to leave the boys alone that long so I do it on the couch some too. All in all it's been ok and I'm so thankful for that. Now ask me again in a few days. I just don't want to drive them crazy with my kids and their messes!

Boooo Hooo

2008-08-13T10:06:00.003-05:00

Tonight is our last night in our house. Boo. I'm off tomorrow to get all the last minute things done and out so all that will be left in our house if furniture and appliances for the movers to take out. :( Bye first house. Bye memories of the past 6 and a half years. First moments for our babies and last moments for our Sloanie Bolognie. Bubba has to move his rocks. When Sloan died he was chewing on rocks, his favorite thing to do, and the rocks have remained in the same place since the moment he left us. Bubba has just mowed around them. We are taking them to his grave. We miss that big turkey so much and so does Zoe, poor girl..... I will miss seeing the pecan tree in the back yard that Paul Ray (Bubba's granddad who died from Cancer) gave us as a wedding present. ....I will miss everything. There are tiny greasy hand prints on the wall by the fire place from Caleb when he was just a teeny tiny guy (eating bacon). I will miss them...... Crayon marks made my little hands, the chunk of missing plaster by the hallway knocked loose by Sloan's big head while he was chasing the cat through the house.
With every ending there is a new beginning and I'm thankful and excited for that but anyone who knows me knows I am a big SAP. I hate endings....all of them, happy or sad. It is still the end of something that will never be again. I will miss you house!!!! I am somewhat glad I will not be there to see the house totally empty, I think then I really would cry.

Happy Wednesday

2008-08-13T09:18:00.003-05:00

I'm working until 1130 today then I'm picking Caleb up to take him shopping. He has become SO unbelievably picky about his shirts that I now have to take him to pick them out or I waste my money. Aren't girls supposed to do this?!?!? I can just see this kid as a teenager!!! Lord help me! I am excited to spend this time with him though, we don't get alone time often. He doesn't know we are doing this so hopefully he will be excited to see me pick him up early!
Last night Bubba and I went to run some errands.....all alone! It was so fun... and fast, I felt so weird not loading and unloading kiddos! We went to Kirkland's to look for mirrors and to the pet store for dog food and to Target to get Caleb's supply list taken care of. This morning Bubba asked Cohen's teacher what she needed and it's all the same stuff plus pull ups and diapers. so I'm going back today. They use diapers the first week or so and then it's pull-ups, and hopefully potty trained a few weeks later! I love this teacher! Caleb had her and she worked wonders with him and potty training. We will see! It would be so great to buy diapers for ONE child not two! Their first day of school is August 27th. EEEEEEk, I'm so nervous for Cohen! Caleb is super excited to have Cohen there too, he tells all his teachers his brother is coming.

Kid talk

2008-08-12T10:43:00.007-05:00

I was just pumping and thinking about my boys. The way they say words just makes me smile and my heart melt. I thought I'd post a few...
The other night we were watching the Olympics swimming and Caleb asked Bubba

"Daddy who is swimming.....boys or gools?" , "Why do they have helmets on in the water?", "Why do they have glasses on?", " Is that water cold?", "Why are they swimming on their back?", "Why are they in their underwear?"

So innocent. I was lying in bed just listening to him ask a hundred questions in his little 4 year old voice, I loved that moment. Priceless moments, I may not remember the exact time or words but it will be forever etched in my heart.

Cohen does it to me also. He asked me for orange juice yesterday! He usually says 'juuusss' but this time he said 'ornsh juusss peeesss!' and handed me his cup. I was so proud. I clapped my hands and told him gooooood job honey!!! He just smiled that little smile that melts me into mush. He has finally started to say more words and it is soooo stinking cute! Here are a few more of his ways to communicate...

brrmmm brrmm = car or truck
muk = milk
ooooow (your most pitiful voice possible) = anything that bites
ruff ruff = he wants to watch '101 Dalmatians'
rooorrrrr = he wants to watch 'The Lion King'
rooooooterrrrrrrrr (make your voice very high) = he wants to watch baby Einstein 'old McDonald'

He has more I couldn't dare spell. He has a noise for bird and a noise for kitty. We have all attempted to make the cat noise but no one has been sucessull. I have attempted to get him on video but he never wants to talk when I have that thing, he just runs around and acts like.....a two year old! I will one day.

I am so blessed, I thank God every day for the very children that make me nuts sometimes. I don't know where or who I'd be without them. I wouldn't want to know...

Check ups!

2008-08-12T08:50:00.003-05:00

My Kinley girl did great with her check up yesterday! She weighs 15 lbs 14 oz and is (I think) 26 inches long. She was starving so when she go her shots she was REALLY mad, she took her pacifier if that tells you anything. She usually just chews on it, never really sucks on it. Poor widdle gril! She got 5 shots. :( She was a bit fussy but nothing major and she had no bruises this morning! Yay! She was in the 50th percentile in all three areas!
Cohen did pretty well with his check up considering he is two! She threw a major fit when Dr. H looked down his throat with the stick. He blew his nose on my BLACK shirt!!!! GROSS! He weighs 28 lbs even and is 35 inches tall (pretty sure). There was so much to remember. I have it written down at home. Cohen lucked out and didn't have to get shots this time! Yay! Cohen's percentiles were all over the board! He is doing just great!
Kinley has to go back in 3 months when she is 9 MONTHS OLD! Geez. Caleb will go along that time. He will get his FIVE YEAR check up! I turn my back for one second and my kids grow up! What is with that?!?!?! I just want to put a brick on their heads. Caleb will get shots and Kinley won't. Honestly, I think I'd rather she get the shots....less crying and screaming! He is such a drama queen but we LOVE him!

My weekend

2008-08-11T10:24:00.003-05:00

I am so tired...no exhausted! I could fall asleep right here! We loaded and stored 4 trailer loads of boxes and totes! My house is sad. Cohen's room, formerly Caleb's nursery, only has the bed, nothing on the walls in the closet or on the floor. No bins of toys...just empty. I have packed everything except what we will need in the next two weeks. I still have to pack the garage stuff (laundry stuff) and a few odds and ends. I am excited to move into our new house. It can't get here fast enough!!!
Today Cohen and Kinley have their check-ups.....and shots. I am so sad for them. Kinley's last ones gave her bruises and she was just not herself afterwards. I surely pray 6th month shots are not as bad. I have no idea what to expect with Cohen. Poor guy. Bubba is meeting me there to help. I might take him for ice cream after his shot. I can just see his face now. Oh, the heartbreaking 'what is going on mom' my heart hurts already. I'm leaving at 1 to go home and change then pick them up for their 2pm appointment. I'm sad.
So today I have odds and ends to tie up at the house as best I can with two potentially fuss kiddos. I'm taking my mom out to the house around 5 and Regina is supposed to bring her suitcases for the boys to use this evening. I'm excited to see what they have finished at our house. They are supposed to be completely done by Friday so the touch up people and the cleaning people can do their thing next week and then we move in! YAY!
Oh yes, Regina and Rob took ALL THREE kids to church and kept them ALL day yesterday! They got home around 6pm! I was SOOOO nervous about this but she assured me she would be fine and would call if there was any problem. I checked my cell several times and even called hers to check on them. She didn't answer. Anyway, she said they did great! They were angels.....her words not mine! I'm sure she had a problem here and there but I'm so glad they did well for them! They took them to visit Mama Davis and they were good there. They didn't get naps but all in all it went well! It was a huge help to get stuff done without kids!

Happy Friday!

2008-08-08T14:07:00.003-05:00

TGIF! Yeah, right, I have a million things to do this weekend to get ready for the move. I refuse to complain in this post. I found a great website, suggested by my sister, it's jofrost.com. Jo Jo is the supernanny. Anyhow, I had a good time browsing! That's all for now.

project 365

2008-08-07T13:13:00.018-05:00

Here are the pictures I couldn't get downloaded until now. I realize there are far more than 7 but what the hay, I couldn't choose on just ONE for the day.

Eating Cohen's snake!

Boys playing t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r!

Photo session begins...enjoy!

Photo session over!

Cutie patootie!

Cool girl!

Caleb is becoming a pretty good photographer!

CHEESE ALREADY! GEEZ MOM!

Sweet babies!

Cohen's guitar shirt!

Sweet girl, outfit from Grammy!

I love this one!

Hello again..

2008-08-07T10:53:00.002-05:00

I feel like it's been forever since I've blogged! I have been super busy. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off!!! I have packed and packed and packed some more and I'm still not finished. I'm running out of time and I'm feeling so stressed out and at my wits end!! I can't wait for this to be over!! We sign on our house (blumentritt) on the 15th at 1. Our last night there will be Wednesday night the 13th :( Booooooohoooooo.
I will be taking off more days next week. Sorry Sally. I want everything OUT so the movers have to pick up furniture and leave. We are taking out boxes to a storage unit we rented (second one) so all the movers have is furniture and the fridge and washer and dryer and stuff like that. FYI....movers cost $100 an HOUR! I think I'm in the wrong profession! They are going to try have the garage in our new house somewhat clean so the movers can put our furniture there. We should be moving in the following weekend. HOPEFULLY!
I still have to pack up the bathroom, the hutch thing, the rest of the kitchen, my bedroom, the computer, and what is left of our clothes minus the weeks worth everyone needs for our 'vacation' with Mere Mere and Papa, and whats left in the garage. I'm sure I have managed to miss some things...oh yeah, the stuff in the back yard. Bubba and I are moving ALL the boxes to the storage Saturday and Sunday that have been packed. I am EXHAUSTED, have I mentioned that?
Kinley is sick, very congested and sneezing and coughing. Cohen has a stuffy nose. I think it's what blew in this week. I'm sneezy too but Im not sure if it's just from packing and stirring up dust or what. So she hasn't slept well and you will never guess who has been getting up with her........yep - ME! I'm also making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, taking care of 3 kids and picking up the same toys, laying out their clothes for the next day, and whatever else I can fit in there on a daily basis!!!! I'm afraid my head may explode soon.

Dear Lord in Heaven, If I must come back to this earth again...please bring me back a

M-A-N, I'm far too tired to be a wonan again!

Project 365

2008-08-04T14:24:00.003-05:00

OK, so I HAVE taken pictures everyday I just haven't had time to download them. Eek. I plan on doing it this evening, we will see how it goes Mondays are crazy for my kids for some reason. And since my computer totally pissed me off last night with the whole 'mind of it's own' thing, let's hope it still even works.
Last night I took SUPER cute pictures of Kinley on her changing table with her big red bow on her head and her diaper just before bed. She is lovin' on her ladybug doll. I can't wait to play with them and see how they turned out. YAY! I am off tomorrow and Wednesday to pack (boo!) so maybe I can post them then.
One more thing, they are supposed to be installing our granite in the kitchen today I am soooo excited to see it! Keep your fingers crossed!!!! They should be able to finish the floors when that is complete! WooHoo!

My night..

2008-08-04T08:17:00.002-05:00

was NOT restful! I had to lay with Cohen and I fell asleep, got in my bed around 11pm then for some UNGODLY reason my computer decides to log on to the Internet....dial up and my speakers were plenty loud!!! Nothing like waking up to screeching!! I fly out of bed before it wakes Kinley, unplug the phone line and get back in bed. Fall back to sleep then the monitor comes on and illuminates my entire room! UGH! I got up and flipped the power bar switch on the floor and go back to sleep. MY GOODNESS, I was not a happy camper. My computer has a mind of it's own or we have a ghost who likes to surf the web! So I'm finally sleeping and Cohen comes to our room crying so I hit Bubba and he takes him back next thing I know Caleb is rolling around on MY HEAD.....OK, by this time I want to scream. I push him over on Bubbas side and go back to sleep only to have the alarm go off at 530. Good Morning Kim! UGH!!!

Photo opp

2008-08-01T10:26:00.003-05:00

This morning as I was rushing around to get out the door, Kinley was in her walker chewing on her raspberry paci with her big red bow on her head and I saw my picture for the day. I dashed across the room for the camera and turned around to see she had thrown the paci on the floor. DANG! Drool all over her face and down her neck. DOUBLE DANG! I cleaned her up and gave her the paci back...photo opp....negative. She was looking at me like a deer in the headlights. All though Cohen became interested and posed with his head on hers so I may have captured the perfect picture anyway! YEAH! We will see. I am officially starting the project 365 today, August 1st - December 31st then I will begin one for 2009.....what 2009?!? Holy Moly where does the time go? Next time I turn around I fear it will be 2019! EEEK!
Anyhow, that's all for now. I hope I get tons of packing done this weekend. We now have to go to a G-ma's house Saturday evening so I doubt I get much done Saturday. DANG! We will shoot for Sunday. Wish me luck!!!!

Inspired!

2008-07-31T14:51:00.002-05:00

I was browsing thru blogs and came across a great one with a terrific idea. I checked out the website suggested and LOVED the idea and I'm going to do it. It's called Project 365 and you take a picture a day for a year. What a wonderful idea. One picture for every day in one place. I love it. So much is changing in my life this fits me perfect. Check out her blog, I listed it as a favorite. She has beautiful pictures. A sunflower, kids, a raspberry. They are simple and beautiful. I'm inspired now to find things to photograph about my days. I only wish I had stumbled across this in December and started it with the new year but better late than never, right! Anyway, just wanted to share!

Packing SUCKS!

2008-07-31T08:49:00.003-05:00

I took the day off yesterday to get some major packing done withOUT interruptions. HA HA HA HA, my husband gives me two bills to pay for him after I take all three kids to daycare. Plus I had to get Dr. H's signature on Cohens papers to start Trinity and stop at Wal-mart. I didn't get started until 9am. And I have to pickup kids at 4. I got about 8 boxes packed. Man, this is going to take FOREVER! I have 16 days. 16 days I tell you! What the flap jacks and I gonna do?!?!?!? Breathe.......I will get it done, I will get it done, I will get it done. Oh yeah, our air conditioner froze up on me so I had to turn it off for a little while, and it was stinkin hot outside...and in!!!!

Kinley

2008-07-29T08:51:00.003-05:00

Last night I was putting dinner on the table and she started her shrieking and staring at me. Ugh, kid let me just get dinner on the table and I will get you. SSSHHRRRIIIEEEEKKKK, even louder as if to say "pick me up or I will shatter every window in this house, not to mention your hearing!" I picked her up to save the windows and glass door and put her in her bumbo seat on the table in front of me and that is how I ate dinner! She was happy as a lark, just watching. Stinker. I decided to feed her real food. I gave her pears and cereal. She wasn't much of a fan but managed to choke down maybe two tablespoonsful. She is so funny, poor thing, she gags like I do when I eat pudding. I hate the way it feels in the back of my throat and that is just what she looks like. We will keep working on it. She is 5 and 1/2 months old and not real interested in food! She can't nurse forever!!!! Maybe she will be one of those kids who skips baby food and goes straight to table food. Who knows. Turkey!
This morning after I fed her she stayed awake and just looked right in my eyes and smiled her big milky smile with her teeth showing and I couldn't resist her! I really needed to get in the shower but I absolutely could NOT put her down! Bubba was like, did you shower already and I said no, thinking 'do I look like I have?' but didn't say it. Anyway, I put her on her blanket on the floor and layed with her for a few minutes. She just talked and smiled and reached for my face. I love all her chub! I can't resist her chunky thighs, she is ticklish on them too, it is so funny. She is such a good baby, minus the shriek!

UGH!!!

2008-07-29T08:44:00.003-05:00

Our house is NOT going to be finished by August 15th. I am sooooo mad! I don't know what we are going to do. Live with Judie for a week or two, ugh. It was SUPPOSED to be finished by July 15 and they moved it to August 15 and that is the day we close on our house. Our construction load goes out on the 19th so we have to pay BIG interest until they finish!!!!! I AM PISSED! So yesterday Bubba and I go to the house to check progress on the floor and..........there is NONE! The floor guy said he needs three weeks and then the touch up people and the cleaning people need another week and this was as of yesterday so that puts us at August 28th. The wonderful lady who bought our house and is letting us stay there until the 15th will be moving in that day so we are out....I'm peeved.

Dreaded Monday.

2008-07-28T09:48:00.003-05:00

I hate Mondays! It just so happens to be the day my children sleep past 7am and I have to get up! UGH! Well, I checked my blood pressure this morning and it's really good my heart rate is a wee bit high but overall I guess I will live. Saturday was day 2 of my new bp med and I had a terrible headache. I felt bad all day. I think it was the medicine. I decided to take it at night so Sunday I had to go without all day and boy could I tell. Yesterday evening Bubba took a load to the storage building and Caleb decided to go crazy....I mean CRAZY! But of course not until I picked up the phone to call my mom. I had to call her back....twice. He was running in circles in the living room yelling 'I'm SPIDERMAN, i'M SPIDERMAN' so loud the other two kids were just looking at him like he lost his stinkin mind. He refused to listen to me so he got in trouble. Big trouble. I had to spank him, which was not a grand idea given my bp issue. Afterward, I was so upset with him I was shaking, I couldn't take a drink of my tea I was shaking so badly. I wonder how high my bp got. Anyhow, Bubba came home and restored order. I HATE that. Why can't he just listen to ME then he wouldn't get into trouble!

Friday we got a note from his teacher. He has been having behavior issues at school now. He hit a classmate on the head and was wondering around without permission AND fighting over 'line leader' and 'door holder' these are BELOVED positions in line for him. He can't be either one for a week. We had a talk with him and *HOPEFULLY* he will be better. He did have a good weekend other than the fit when bubba left. Caleb even did the dishes last night! YES, he got the chair pushed it to the sink and washed off all the dinner dishes so all I had to do was put them in the dishwasher. It was such a huge help. He loves playing in the water mostly but it was a tremendous help. He was trying to make up for giving me such a hard time earlier. He apologized a couple of times too. It seems like they are good when it's all of us but when one leaves or someone else comes over they go totally NUTS! Regina stopped by to drop off some stuff and they went crazy. There is no telling what people think. I would probably be like....whew, we are so NOT coming over here anymore, those kids are out of control! Poor Kim and Bubba! Heehee. No but really, are all kids like this???? Bubba thinks he is having terrible twos with Cohen. I don't know what to think.

Anyhow, my sweet little Kinser cut another tooth! Her top right, soooo cute! I felt terrible for her though, she was so fussy and her little eyes were all red. Ohhhhh, sweet girl I just had to hold her tons and tons. If I put her down she would shriek like a banshee! I'm waiting for the windows to bust or the glasses to crack in the cabinet. Whew, that girl can hit notes that will make dogs howl!

Last night

2008-07-25T11:06:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Sally picked up Jonas because Jenni was sick and they came over and played. At first Kinley was mesmerized by him. Oh look, someone my age! Jonas did nothing but stare at the boys. Oh my, big kids! He goes to First Baptist so he is with babies all day and Kinley is vise versa. She loved watching him and he the big boys. Sally put Jonas in Kinley's jumparoo and holy cow! She was giving him the dirtiest look a five month old can muster up. Surely she wasn't jealous...or was she. She never made a peep just watched him as he played. She had a frown and her eyebrows were very dramatic. She did not like him playing in her jumparoo!!! It was so funny. He didn't quite know what to think, I think the noise and commotion that go along with a 2 year old and a 4 year old were a bit overwhelming to him. He only cried a few times and just for a minute.

The boys had a rough evening for some reason. They were little devils. All I did from the moment we walked in the door was put someone in time-out or get onto someone or spank or put one in the room. SHEESH, it was exhausting! I bought them each a surprise from Target and gave it to them when we got home, big mistake, I should have given it to them at the end of the night if they behaved. I bought a (life like feeling) frog and lizard. I let Caleb choose my left or right hand. He chose and was happy until he saw what was in my other hand and wanted that so I let them trade. Another big mistake. Cohen wanted the lizard. I can't win for losing. Before the night was over we had taken away the toys, Caleb was grounded from furniture and Cohen was growling at me from the corner and going to bed early.

****Note to self, run....run as far as possible!!!****

I can't wait for the 'terrible twos' and the 'whiny' fours to be over! The twos have just begun.

Dear Lord if you can hear me, please grant me what it takes to survive toddler hood!!!

2008-07-25T08:31:00.003-05:00

I went to the doctor yesterday for my bp check and my second 'shot'. Well, my blood pressure was 175/95 and that's taking my medicine and I told them how 'off' I've been and he said it was depression and it's a side effect of the shot. He took me off it and changed my bp medicine. I'm glad to know it will be better soon. It amazes me how drugs can effect you. He said it is not just real common but it happens. I told him about all the stress I'm going thru right now and that I didn't know if it was the shot for sure or just all the stress doing this to me and he said we will just start all over to make sure, he didn't want to take any chances. So, he said we could try something else in a few months but I think I'm one of those people who just can't handle birth control medications.

Bubba said he didn't care what we had to do he just wanted me to feel better and we would deal with the rest. He has been really supportive lately about this and that is strange for him. I guess he has just seen SUCH a difference in me so quickly he knew something wasn't right and he is concerned. I love that. It makes me love him even more. As much as I don't want to be touched I do love that he makes it a point to give me a kiss and or a hug every chance he gets, several times a day. He really didn't do that much before so I think he just wants me to know he loves me and is there. OR he just wants to get lucky (I'm trying to be optimistic here but reality can't be ignored:).

So anyway, Cohen has been running CRAZY, like a little Tasmanian devil or a tornado around the house but last night we put in the Lion King and all of the sudden the super charged little body was sitting on the couch silently, still, watching, it was WONDERFUL!!! Bubba put him to bed in like 15 minutes so I think he was exhausted. He said Cohen didn't fight him one bit, just lwent to sleep. I wish that always happened. We talked to Caleb last night about his new big (queen) bed in his new room when we move into our new house....he wasn't impressed. Right now he sleeps in my bed, right in the middle. Bubba will try to sleep in the middle so he can be close to me and Caleb whines and cries until he moves. It is ridiculous! I can't wait to sleep in MY bed ALONE, well with my husband but you know what I mean. I told him that in our new house only adults were allowed in Mommy and Daddy's room unless the sun was up. I don't' think he bought it, but I'm sticking to this. That's all for now.

Random pictures!!!!

2008-07-24T10:15:00.010-05:00

She loves her big brother!!!!!

I love this one of Cohen!

Kinley, my little cutie, taken last saturday!

Me and my little men!

My big beautiful blue eyed thumb sucker!!!

My mom made us do it!!!!

Again, My mom made me do it!!!

My mom, dressed up at Miss Hatties!

Kristi, Me and Renee at my birthday party!

No title...

2008-07-23T10:05:00.004-05:00

I am all alone today. Literally! Sally is off. Paul is at Brice's tennis thing. Just me and Kidd Craddock and he is leaving in about 20 seconds. We received the final verdict on our job yesterday. Meet your new part-time technician. Sally too. We now have to pay more for benefits and accrue less pto and no sick time. Sally had 140 hours of sick time built up in case something ever happened and she has to forfeit ALL of it! That is just STUPID! Nothing about this is fair. Sally told me I will work 30 hours a week and she will work 10 and use what is left of her pto to equal what she needs. I thank her for that. Part timers get 24 hours a week but they want us to flex down to 20 until further notice. No more than 40 hours for our department. Ummmm hello! We have bills to pay! I'm super stressed about all this. Sally is looking for another job and has applied to some. I feel terrible for her. I hope she finds something awesome so she can tell this place to kiss her butt and give Steve a piece of her mind. I hate this place.
We have a new house to pay for in one month, my job literally hangs by a thread, I feel like a door mat and I have a million things to do that I can't muster up the energy to get done. I am totally in a rut and I don't even care to get myself out. What does that mean?!?! Bubba keeps asking me if I'm ok. I just say 'yes why' and he gives me a look, he knows I'm lying. I just dont want to get into it. I don't have the energy or the care to do so. I have an appointment with Dr. Cravy tomorrow to recheck my bp and get another shot. I'm going to ask him to up my prozac. I don't know if that will help but I'll give it a try.
This all started when I got a big fat nothing for my birthday from Bubba. I know it sounds terrible but this is the first year EVER that he didn't take the time to show me how much I mean to him. Yes he gave me a birthday party, but where was my card at least? Why didn't he make dinner or order out, or set up a sitter and take me out on THAT day? Simply put, he didn't care to take the time for me. And that hurts. The second thing was Caleb's comment about wanting me to die. I realize he is 4 and didn't fully understand what he was saying...or did he. This is one smart kid we are talking about here. He chose his words... I have a surprise for you mommy, do you want to know what it is....(he waited for me to say yes)...for you to die. Never missed a beat. Then my job. I do not matter enough to keep around. It's all about money and numbers and the CEO. I do not matter here. 6 years.....
It seems to be coming from all directions. You do not matter. You are not important enough. You are here to do a job....wife, mother, maid, cook, chauffeur, pharmacy technician. I don't feel there is a team anywhere anymore. Just me...to get my work done, but I can't get there either. I'm going to pump now. Add that to my list of jobs...

Sticks and stones..

2008-07-22T08:41:00.004-05:00

may break my bones but words will never hurt me....the person who came up with this has never heard the following words from their 4 year old son.

Yesterday I was washing the dishes and Bubba was running a bath for the boys. Caleb came to me and started whining that he wanted Cohen to take a bath first because he didn't want to take one. Here is how the conversation went...

Honey, go take your bath because Daddy and I have a surprise for you!!

What is it??

I can't tell you, it's a surprise, the faster you get done with bath the faster you will find out...

What is THE SURPRISE? (getting angry)

Caleb it is a surprise, you will find out after bath!

Well, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU MOMMY.....DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS??? (The look on his face is unforgettable, he was so angry)

What is your surprise.....

FOR YOU TO DIE!

Ok, I was in SHOCK. I turned the water off and looked at his VERY angry face and said YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME!!!! He knew what he said was serious because he ran to the couch and cried. Sally was holding Kinley and heard some of what he said. Bubba came out of the bathroom and I told him, he put Caleb in the shower and I called my mom. I didn't know what to do or how to handle this. I was heartbroken and in complete shock. My mom couldn't believe her ears. She said I needed to talk to him and explain what he said and what it meant and make him feel bad so he understands. So I did. He screamed the entire time I was trying to talk to him. He wouldn't tell me who said it. He just kept yelling "let me out and I will calm down" I was just sitting on the floor, not touching him not holding him down just sitting there. At one point he ran to the door and yelled under it "PLEASE LET ME OUT, MOMMY IS BEING SO MEAN TO ME!" I just kept asking why he was so mad. He couldn't tell me.

I kept waiting for the 'breakthrough' like they have on Nanny 911 that would make everything magically better....it never came. I didn't' get anywhere. So I let him out. He did apologize but I couldn't tell if it was just to get out or he really was sorry.

He came to sit with me while I put Kinley to sleep and he said he was sorry and I asked 'for what' he said for saying that to you. He apologized several more times so I believe now that he is sorry and didn't mean it. But it has stuck in my head like nothing else. I fear I'm failing him. Honestly, if he talks to me like this I am failing. Last night Bubba told me to talk a bath (which is a treat for me, I usually shower in 10 mins in the am) I was obviously upset and needed alone time, so I thought and prayed and thought a little more, I came to the conclusion that I need to go to church on Sunday. I don't know if it was just my conscience talking or what but I really think he can help. I'm going to find books today to help too. Now if the message on Sunday is about parenting, I may have a heart attack but that is my plan. I need help. I need prayers. I need something, I'm heart broken in every aspect of the word. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I am so hurt by his words. How would you feel if your child said he wanted you to die?

I have put every ounce of myself into him and his brother and sister. Given them everything, cared for them since day one, loved them, sang to them, played with them, held them, doctored them, everthing! Why would he ever say this to me? I realize he is a child and they say things they don't mean they just know they are angry words and how to use them, Boy did he! I can't just brush this off, it has stuck in my heart forever. I am crushed, hurt, sad, upset and angry. I want this to be fixed. Caleb has seemed so angry lately. Cohen is out of control also. He has officially turned two and it is going to be a heck of a year with him but Caleb has me worried. What will I do when he is 16? Will he hate me? Am I over reacting? I don't know...

Troubles....

2008-07-21T08:53:00.003-05:00

Kinley has cut another tooth!! She has two on bottom and one of her top ones is poking out a bit! My poor girl, she was super fussy yesterday and the entire time I thought it was her tummy (cause I had spicy chicken wings on Saturday night) and it turned out to be her teeth. I gave her teething tablets and she calmed down almost immediately! Amazing stuff!!
Cohen Parker was HORRIBLE this weekend! That kid, I'm telling you, if this is terrible twos HOLY CRAP what a year this will be! He has such a thick head and a strong willed mind he is going to do what he wants regardless of what anyone tell him! I bet I spanked him 3 different times, put him in his room 3 times and time outs at least 50 times! He smacked his sister on the head (which unleashed the beast in me) and kept on beating up his brother! He is soooo strong they don't stand a chance! I need to figure out a way to teach him to communicate and maybe he will be less aggressive. He is starting to talk more so I'm praying that will help him get thru this. Pray for us! We need it!
Caleb has been super emotional and we don't understand why. He is good one minute and crying the next. I guess if my two year old brother beat me up I'd cry too! I'm sure it has to do with attention, we were so busy trying to discipline Cohen and console Kinley there wasn't much left for Caleb. Caleb tries to talk to Breaks my heart. Bubba and I talked this morning and we are going to establish game time after dinner. Maybe that will help. Usually after dinner we do bath then tv/play time then bed. We are going to rearrange things a bit. When we get in our new house it will be much better because we will have more room to do different things. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated!!!!!

My morning!

2008-07-18T09:25:00.004-05:00

Well, I'm in a better mood today...so far! Hee hee. I was late to work again today, Cohen was on slow-poke time! He had to gather 4 monster trucks, a small turtle, his milk cup, two cars, and his beloved Lion King DVD before we could leave this morning. So imagine in your head, me holding Kinley in her car seat, my pump on my shoulder, a gift for Grace(who turned one), Kinley's milk bag and the keys standing at the door waiting for him to gather his 'treasures'. SHHEEEESH! COME ON ALREADY! I don't know how I managed to get that all in the car in one trip but I did it, why you ask????? I don't know, I already had it all in my hands, why drop half of it just to come back again and.....I didn't think of it.
Anyway, I made it and all is fine. I'm so glad it's friday!!!!

Things that irritate me

2008-07-17T08:45:00.003-05:00

Today there seem to be a few...
1. Whining!
2. the words "Mrs. Brenda said"
3. stupid people
4. bad drivers
5. road construction
6. people who feel they need to LOOK at road construction!
7. Drivers who stare at me like I'm dressed as a chicken or something! WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT????
8. Being late for work....again!
9. My house being torn apart in the mornings, what goes on while I'm getting ready? GEEZ!
10. My husband trying to be lovey dovey and kissy kissy in the morning....HEELLLLO, I JUST WOKE UP - BACK THE FLAP JACKS OFF!

As you can tell I'm not in the best of moods today. Partly due to the note we received from our sons teacher yesterday. It went something like this....

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Davis,
Caleb has had a splinter in his foot for three days now. It is quite distracting for him. There is a medication called ictamal that will draw it out overnight, you can get it at wal-mart or albertsons. It sure is a help with the little ones. Blah blah blah. I can't remember all of it but basically it was saying ' Hey lady, take care of your kids foot!' I have NOT neglected my child. We have tried to get the damn splinter out ever day, it won't budge! I have watched him jump off the couch and land square on that foot and not flinch a muscle, run and play as if it were not there.....UNTIL he is asked to do something or he wants attention, THEN he falls on the floor like he just got the thing and is in terrible pain and should be rushed to the ER. GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK! He is a drama queen like no other. He uses it for attention. I'm sure Mrs. Brenda feels so sorry for the poor little boy whose parents neglect his sore, infected, about to fall off little foot!

Let me say the first thing that offended us about the letter was the "Dear MR. and Mrs. Davis" part! She always calls us Kim and Bubba and she has done so on notes before so what the hell! I wrote her a note back this morning and it wasn't very pretty. I SO wanted to start with "Dear Mrs. Naul" but I didn't. I'm going to make an appointment with Dr. Herbert and let him deal with it once and for all. I told Caleb this and he started whining "Noooooooooo, it will hurt!" I don't care.

I talked to the Pharmacist at walmart yesterday ( they are having a hard time getting the ictamal stuff in, they were out) he said his son had the same thing when he was five and he had to dig it out with a needle and his son remembers it to this day. He also said the ictamal doesn't work on splinters, it is more for bringing a boil or a pimple to a head and his body should eventually reject the splinter on it's own if I wanted to wait it out. SHAAA, no thanks not with my drama queen for a son. There is NO TELLING what he told his teacher! Yesterday he came home with a dressing on his foot! A DRESSING! Give me a freaking break! He was sooo mad when we took it off to try and get it out. 'NO that is a special band aid it's supposed to stay on Mrs. Brenda saaaaaiiddd"

Anyway, I'm irritated to the max today!

Job problems..

2008-07-16T11:32:00.004-05:00

your guess is as good as mine. We are waiting for them to talk with Don. When he makes his decision, Paul will make his and it will have a trickle effect. Sally wants to take the 24hrs and find a second job but I'm afraid they won't let her work 24 and she will loose medical and I REALLY don't want that to happen. I'm at a loss. I decided not to think about it anymore until Don makes his final decision, then I will worry. That's all I know for now.

Happy Hump day!

2008-07-16T11:16:00.004-05:00

Today is crazy. Cohen has an unexplained fever, my job is hanging by a thread and I dropped my cell phone in the toilet when I was pumping this morning!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!! The whole thing happened in slow motion. I put it on top of my pump while setting everything up I reached for it to set the timer and fumbled in slow motion right into the toilet! I had a minor heart attach. I called Bubba when I finished pumping and told him, he wasn't as upset as I thought he would be. He is supposed to call me back with the name of our service lady to see what I need to do to get a new one.
What am I going to do without a phone?!?!? Usually it would be fine but Cohen is funny today and may need to come home if his fever returns. My sitter called and said it was coming back but it was nap time and she thought he would go pretty fast so she gave him Tylenol and put him down. We will see. Poor little man. Nothing worse than a sick baby! I would give anything to take their place but what mother wouldn't?!? He has NO other symptoms, just fever. Weird!
Caleb left this morning pleading with me to pick him up right after lunch so he didnt' have to lay down for nap. The conversation went something like this....

Mom, pleeeeaaase pick me up right after lunch, I don't wanna take a nap!!!!!

Honey, I have to work, I will pick you up this afternoon

NOOOOOOOOO, I don't wanna take nap today, I just woke up I took nap alllllll night!

Tell your teacher you don't want to sleep, maybe she will let you just lay there awake!

I did and she said I have to lay down.....I don't waaaaant tooooooooooooooo, please Mommy! Pick me up at lunch, PLEEEEEASE! I dont wanna lay down......whaaaaaaaa.

Caleb, we all have to do things we don't want to. If your teacher says you have to take a nap then you have to. I will pick you up this afternoon.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Screaming child exits with tears rolling down his face.)

I am the worst mom in the world. Add me to the list would ya?! Geez. This is the second day he has pulled this. I don't know what the deal is I guess I'm going to have to talk with his teacher and find out what's going on at naptime!

So now I'm freaking out...

2008-07-15T14:50:00.002-05:00

Bare with me because not much of this will make sense but we got our 'staffing matrix' today and it's pretty much TERRIBLE news. We can have 1.3 FTE's tech (full time employee's) and our staff pharmacist can only work 8 hours a week. This means he will quit because he was just cut back to 32 hours a week and needs extra money. Which means Paul will leave because he does not want to work all hours and take call 24/7, can't say that I blame him.
Back to the tech problem... One of us can work 40 hours and the other only 13 hours a week. This means the 13 hr tech will lose all benefits. I tried to work it where we both work the minimum to keep benefits and we still need 3 more hours to make it work. She would get 32 and I would get 24. HR said it would not work. We can't have two part timers or one full and one part timer it makes the numbers off. SO, I'M OFFICIALLY PANICKING! I have to talk to Bubba today. If Don leaves Paul will leave which means we will have to have a rent a pharmacist which means I'm out of here which means Sally is out too. This sucks to every extent of the word.
Can I afford to work part time, can I afford to work less than that, can Bubba carry us on medical, I don't know the answers....

Disappointed

2008-07-15T08:51:00.002-05:00

Well today I'm feeling a little blue. Yesterday was my 30th birthday and I didn't get anything from my husband. I know I sound like a spoiled brat but it is eating me up inside. He didn't even get me a card or one for the kids to sign! That really makes me sad. I feel like I must not matter enough for him to take the time to pick out a stinking card!!!
This morning he was looking at some pictures I printed from my party for my sister and he said "You know there isn't one of you and me" I looked at him and said "hmmm, I'll put that right next to my birthday card!" He looked at me and said "KIM, YOU WILL GET A CARD" to which I replied "Yesterday was my birthday!" If he gets me a card now, it will not be the same because it will be obvious he did it only because I said something. He could have given me one at my party like every one else, he could have given me one yesterday but he didn't...it's not like this snuck up on him. It just didn't matter enough....
I'm sure I sound horrible to anyone reading this but he has ALWAYS made a big deal of birthdays and given me something great and this year he did head up a surprise birthday party but he just told people what to do, all he did was drive me there. Don't get me wrong...I LOVED the party and it was a wonderful idea and I thank him for that but.....I wanted a card with hand prints and doodling from my kids and a card from him and a memorable gift that would last a lifetime and make me feel special would have been a bonus and made my day. I don't know.....I have always been able to say "LOOK WHAT BUBBA GAVE ME!" Not this year. Not for my 30th. Not when I'm feeling sorry for myself. I didn't even get a 'Honey, I'm so sorry I didn't get you a special gift but since we are building this house I really don't have the extra money' OR ' Hon, I'm so sorry your gift didn't get here in time but it will be here soon' or a simple "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything." I don't know, I'm here with my head hanging low and a heavy heart. I will get over it......

Today is...

2008-07-14T10:49:00.003-05:00

my 30th birthday. Do I feel any different......no. It is a bit depressing to enter my thirty's but I can't stop time so I will just deal with it!
Friday was my surprise birthday party and it was wonderful. Judie and Sally did a wonderful job. I know Judie worked her butt off big time! She came back from New Mexico Thursday evening and had to get all the food and decorations ready. Sally got off early Friday and helped prepare the trays. Everything turned out wonderful and I am very thankful! I loved it!!!! Saturday was Cohen's party and it was fun! I think he had a good time even though he wanted to throw money in the fountain instead of play putt putt it was fun. I can't believe he is TWO! Time has really flown by, you know! Kinley is 5 months old and is cutting her second tooth! I can see it perfectly under her skin it just needs to break through so she will feel better. She was SUPER fussy yesterday. Poor girl! I couldn't get a thing done around the house. It really needs my attention - BIG TIME! Misty and I went to lunch at Cheddars yesterday and that was really nice! Thanks for asking me Mist!!!! My sisters were in for my birthday so I got to visit with them some!!! I miss them so much and I really wish we lived closer!
One thing I can say about today is....I'm tired! I wish I could sleep for about 2 or 3 hours! I fell asleep pumping earlier and I seldom do that. I slept all night, surprisingly, 5:30 just came WAAAAYYY toooo fast this morning! I was late getting ready, and to work, oops. I was feeding the cat when I heard the clock chime 8 times! That hurried me up big time. I usually leave around 7:20 or 7:30. Oh well. That's all for now!

P.S.

2008-07-10T09:08:00.001-05:00

Email at work is down so I won't get reply's today!

The past few days...

2008-07-10T08:59:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted since last Wednesday! Geez! I've been flexed at work due to low census, Friday was a holiday and my kids were sick Monday and Tuesday. Kinley had croop. Poor little girl! I HATED her being sick. I had to take her to the on call doctor Saturday morning so I didn't get to go to the Davis family reunion in Brownwood. Bubba took the boys, they had a good time. Anyway Kinley is still a bit stuffy at times but she is doing better.
Caleb woke up Tuesday morning about 4:30 am with a tummy ache. He started throwing up and had diarrhea all morning, it finally stopped at lunch time. Poor kid. I felt sooooo bad for him. He spend yesterday morning with my mom and I got off at lunch so I got him then. He is better! Whiny but better!
I got my hair cut yesterday too!!!! I LOVE IT!!! It is super short, Bubba isn't a fan and Caleb doesn't like it. That is because he Loves to play with my hair when he is falling asleep so he wants it long. Cohen likes it and Kinser just looked at me and smiled. She knew something was different! So far everyone at work loves it too. I just wanted to look 'fixed' I guess more my new age instead of messy hair or pony tail with whispies flying all over, you know. I wanted to look 'done'. After all I am turning tttttthhhhhirty on Monday. Lord help me. I needed an old lady haircut to go with my age....heee heee! It isn't an old lady haircut by any means but it is super short! That's all for now!

OH CLEANING AND LAUNDRY FAIRIES!!!!

2008-07-02T09:12:00.003-05:00

I call on you for help! Please have my house cleaned and laundry done when I get home! Thanks so much! I totally appreciate it! I did the dishes already. Thanks again.
I would like to know how people get their laundry done. I mean all of it. I always have laundry to do and it makes me CRAZY! I don't know what to do. I don't want to do laundry EVERY day, I have other things to do also. UGH!!! Yesterday, I folded the same load of laundry 3 times because Cohen kept running thru it! Made me crazy!!!! It was my fault for folding it on the floor but I was tired of standing. Caleb was trying to help, he would put his stuff away which was wonderful. I gotta run.

My little girl is growing up!!!

2008-07-01T08:14:00.004-05:00

Kinley got her first tooth!!!!! She is 4 and half months old, it's too early but she is in a hurry I guess! I couldn't believe it! I noticed Sunday, while nursing she would bite down but I thought she was just finishing up and playing around but I know now she was cutting a tooth! OOOhhhhh, my baby!!!!!! It is her lower right incisor. It is so tiny and cute! I tried to take a picture but when I pulled her lip back she would cover the tooth with her tongue and it just didn't work. I will try when it sticks out a bit farther. Sooo cute!

Our Weekend

2008-06-30T08:48:00.004-05:00

It was good. Saturday Bubba and I went to Abilene to the granite warehouse. We picked out what we wanted and we will find out the prices today, good luck to us. Caleb went to the boat races with Judie and Pw, from what I hear he played with the kids around him more than he watched but he had a good time. He spent Friday and Saturday night with them. He was NOT ready to come home yesterday. Makes me a little sad but he is the center of attention and gets WHATEVER he wants over there so I guess I understand. Cohen and Kinley stayed with my mom and dad on Saturday while we went to Abilene. I missed them terribly. When I walked in Cohen said "Home, shoes - MOM" At least he missed me!

Last night I decided on of my absolute favorite things to do with Kinley is hold her while she sleeps and rest my face on her head and just breath her in. I love the way her head smells! It's weird, I know but I can't get enough of it! I sat there for an hour just breathing her in. She is so sweet. I don't know if I do this more with her because she is my last baby or what but I just can't get enough of her. I miss her terribly when she is away. I miss the boys too, don't get me wrong but it's different with her. Maybe it's because she is dependant on me for food and the boys are not, or because she is cuddly and the boys don't do it much anymore. I dunno.

Oh YES, Misty gave me my birthday present a little early - AND I LOVE IT! It's a necklace with each of the kids names hand stamped on a charm Kinley has a flower under her name and the boys a star and it is beautiful! I wore it yesterday. Caleb loved it too!! I wish I could wear it to work!!!! THANK YOU MISTY!!!!

Pictures

2008-06-26T08:59:00.004-05:00

Caleb took this picture of Kinley! What a great photographer, I also have a nice one of the vacuum cleaner!

Someone got into the lotion at the sitter and styled his hair! He didn't want to smile. Stinker.

Caleb played dress up too! Batman to the rescue!!

A little privacy please...

2008-06-26T08:56:00.003-05:00

This is how Kinley nurses now. She has to cover her face! I don't know how she breathes under there but if I move her hand down she will put it right back!!!

Our little Fireman!

2008-06-26T08:52:00.003-05:00

WOOOOOO WOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOO WOOOOOO! Fireman coming thru!!!!!

Isn't he cute! He loves fire trucks and pretty much anything with a light or a siren. He was playing dress up. I love this picture!

Today is...

2008-06-25T08:42:00.003-05:00

going to be a busy day for me! Our house is being inspected tomorrow so I have to go clean it up. Bubba has to rearrange the garage so the inspector can get in the attic and the closet. I'm going to attempt to pack a few boxes also. We will see how far I get. When I start cleaning I will probably get anal about it. I'm in the mood to clean so it all works out. There is so much 'stuff' laying around it drives me CRAZY!!!!!
I will be leaving a bit before lunch today and tomorrow I will be the one there to let the inspector in, that is at 1pm and Friday Angie is off so I will have the little kids! I'm glad it is slow otherwise we'd be in trouble with all my busy-ness! Anyway, that's all for now!

Do you ever...

2008-06-24T08:26:00.003-05:00

...look at yourself in the mirror and wonder what in the world has happened to that face?!?!? This morning while getting ready for work I just had to stop and look and sit...and it was a bit depressing and maybe even disturbing. Lines on my forehead, sunspots, age spots, uneven skin tone, lines, wrinkles, dark circles...it was not pretty. I want my teenage complexion back. My mom always looked young for her age. In her 40's she looks a young thirty something and in her 50's she looked a young 40 something. Why can't I look a young twenty something? I look like I'm about to turn THIRTY and not an hour younger!!! I don't want to get old. I look at myself and see my Granny. I'm afraid I'm going to turn around and be that 95 year old lady...I'm just not ready for that.
Don't try to tell me I'm over reacting because I'm not, really, I'm just writing what I'm feeling. I'm not having a midlife crisis early. I'm fine. Just wrinkly, that's all. I will be THIRTY in 20 days. :( I don't care that my age will be 30, I care that my appearance shows I'm 30. That makes me sad. Maybe I need new make-up to make me feel better, or a new haircut, or some new jewelry...I don't know.

Monday already.....

2008-06-23T09:19:00.003-05:00

Geez the weekend flew by! We had fun. Saturday Bubba and I took the kiddos to the park and we fed the ducks and turtles. There were tons and tons of turtles, the kids were mesmerized! Caleb was upset, when he tried to give the bread to the turtles tons of fish would swim up super fast and eat it before the turtle knew what happened. He wanted me to go talk to the fish and let them know HIS bread was for the turtle NOT the fish. Oh honey, if it were just that easy!
Yesterday we just hung out at home, the kids played in the pool and we watched tv. Nothing much to report. Cohen has a bit of a rough day, he spent LOTS of time in the corner. :( He kept throwing toys or anything he could find at Caleb. I did feel sorry for Caleb at first, until he just agged it on. I don't know what to do other than time-out's and 'NO THROWING' to get him to stop. He is an aggressive little guy, you don't want to piss him off! He got a couple of spankings but nothing helped him. Then it was Calebs turn I guess. He was sassing like nobodys business. Ohhhh, the kid. I found a spoon...which is now known at the 'spanking spoon' Caleb does NOT like this......which is good for me! Just in case you are wondering it is made of bamboo and it has a wide spoon part so it fits his bum well. It only took one time then all I had to do was threaten. I felt horrible for using it but he left me no other option. Don't you hate that?!?! Why does he need to push so far?! This I don't understand, but I set the limit and all is well today!
Oh, Caleb decided to pick Kinley up yesterday! HOLY MOLY. He did fine but my heart sank. We explained when he can and can't do it, we will see where we go from there. He picked her up off her blanket and put her in the bumbo chair and in her bouncer, I think it made him feel like a big kid. That's all for now. Have a good day!

Happy Friday!!!

2008-06-20T09:26:00.005-05:00

TGIF!!!!!! I will be leaving work early again today. Two patients are going home so we will be down to a measly 6. That is ridiculous! I might take Caleb to the movies. Kung Fu Ninja starts at 12:10. We will see.
Last night went well. We were all asleep by 9:45pm, mom and dad included! Yippee! Caleb woke up and joined us around midnight and Cohen around 1 something, right when the storms started. His diaper leaked and I think that is what woke him because right after I changed him and put him back in bed he went right to sleep. Oh, I can't wait for the day I go to sleep with my husband and wake up with him...just him. I wonder if that will ever happen. When we move into our house I plan on making major changes. Cohen will have a new bed, Caleb will have a new queen size bed and they are going to SLEEP in them by gollie! They will have their own rooms to throw fits in, no more fueling each other at bedtime. No more Caleb on the couch. Wooo Hooo! Wish me luck!Also... NO MORE WALKING AROUND AND EATING DINNER! That makes me nuts, everyone WILL sit at the table and finish dinner! Now, I've said my peace and I'm good! Heehee.

Our house...and pictures.

2008-06-20T09:02:00.011-05:00

Kinley wanted to check out the new house too! Sweet smiley girl!

The boys splashing in the water!

Bubba wetting down the newly poured cement for the barn!

They will pour the rest on Monday. What is not poured is porches! YEAH!!!!

The Masonry work is done!!!! Yippee. View from the east side!

View from the driveway! 11326 Hidden View Dr.

I am so excited. They promised the tape and floaters would be there Monday to finish up. I don't know who comes next but I'm super excited. I can't wait to move in!!!!!!

Barn

2008-06-19T10:20:00.003-05:00

They are pouring concrete for our barn today. I'm excited to see it. It is enormous! I told Bubba as soon as I saw it roped off that I was NOT sweeping that thing...it's ALL his baby. I know he is excited about it and that makes it much more fun for me!!! I asked him this morning if it would still be wet this evening and he quickly said 'No, you can't put hand prints in it' WHAT?!? I gave him a look because he KNOWS I want the kids hand prints or foot prints in cement somewhere at our new house. So we agreed on the sidewalk. :[ It is a moment in time, the ages and sizes of our kids when we first move into our new home will never be the same and I want that frozen in time. I want to look back in 20 years and see those little feet (or hands). You know?!?!
P.S. Bubba found baby longhorns that he wants. I'm a wee bit nervous about a cow. I mean what if it dies, we cant just put it in a trash bag, we have rent a tractor or something to dig a MASSIVE hole and what if it dies right by the house.....then I have a graveyard right outside my door because we can't move the darn thing!!! I don't think he thinks about these things! I think we sould start smaller....like a goat or a chicken. I can dig a hole for a chicken! We will see.

Bedtime!

2008-06-19T10:13:00.004-05:00

I think it went pretty well! There was very little screaming and crying. Bubba put Cohen down around 8pm and I made Caleb lay on the couch while I pumped then I laid on the couch with him. Much to my surprise he stayed there. We watched Super Nanny then went to bed. Bubba went to bed around 9:30 and I followed at 10:00. Cohen slept ALL night which was wonderful but Kinley filled in the void. If it's not one it's the other. She woke up at 11:30 crying, which never happens, I nursed her and she went right back to sleep. Weird! Caleb woke me up about 4:30am to ask if it was wake-up time, I said no and he went right back to sleep. I was thinking way more words then 'no' but that's all that came out! Thankfully.
I got tons of laundry folded and put away between 7 and 8, I'm still wondering how that happened. That is usually a crazy time at our house. Bubba had sock duty, Sally and I folded and Caleb help me put away. It was nice.

Pictures!

2008-06-19T08:41:00.004-05:00

Here is Kinley 'talking' to me!

Cohen's new 'do' courtesy of Radek at Daycare!

He is so cute!

OK SO..

2008-06-18T12:59:00.007-05:00

I'm here all alone and I've done everything on my 'to do' list....which I started approximately 20 minutes ago! It sucks not to have anything to do however I do like being here all alone. Just me and the radio, I only get this kind of time in the car...on my way to pick up someone loud! Heehee.
Reading back on previous posts seems like all I've done is complain! Lets get one thing straight, I LOVE my life. Things could definitely be tweaked here and there but for the most part it's great! I have small children and that is hard. Yes I've thought seriously about beating my husband with a frying pan at one time or another but I LOVE him dearly and would walk through fire for him and he would do the same for me (I hope:) and I adore the very children who make me want to take a long walk off a short peer from time to time. They can melt my heart in less than a second with their big blue eyes, or toothless grins, or I love you's. But what Mother can say any different?!? Motherhood is awesome and horrible at the same time all mixed together with a million other emotions and descriptions. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a wife and a mother and I wouldn't change that decision! You have to be there to fully understand what I'm talking about.
I just wanted to clarify these things for anyone who might look at this and think...gosh I would hate to be her! I love me, I love them, they are all mine and for that I thank God everyday! Thank you Lord for blessing me with wonderful people to share my days,...and nights! I have great family AND FRIENDS!

Wednesday......

2008-06-18T11:11:00.004-05:00

why can't it be Friday?!? I do get to stay at work all day today! WOOO HOOO. I'm bored and tired and don't wanna be here. Sound familiar? I feel like a broken record!
Cohen got his hair cut at daycare yesterday! Heehee, by a 5 year old. He took a snip right off the top. The funny thing is I work with his mom and she read the email first and ran to apologize to me, I thought she was going to cry. It's really no big deal. It is just hair, it will grow back. I'm going to take a picture. Kids! Not long ago Caleb was doing homework, he had to cut out pictures beginning with whatever letters they were working on and glue it to the paper, anyway he snipped his hair in two places in the back...looked like moths had attacked him. It was really funny. He tried so hard to play it off, didn't work!
Yesterday Cohen was playing in his little pool and I was sitting in the chair watching while he crouched down by the fence to poop. I asked him what he was doing and he looked away with a grin. I asked if he was pooping to which he replied very quickly and loudly "NO POOP!" and I said ok. A few minutes later he came over tapping his diaper and saying "Ewww!" I said "Did you poop?" to which he replied "NO.... Baby...poop!" I laughed and took him inside....let's get the baby's poop out of your diaper! He is so funny these days, if he toots he will laugh and blame it on Bubba or Kinley even if they are not there! I guess it's a guy thing from the beginning!!! Silly kid!

I'm bored

2008-06-17T10:51:00.006-05:00

I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored! We have a whopping 7 patients! If this doesn't end soon I don't know what will happen! It is a bit ridiculous!
I have already made IV's, a gymboree purchase, checked the baby center website, pumped, chatted, read a magazine and it's only 11am! What a long flippin' day. I'm sure we have to leave for the day at lunch again today. My hours for last week are pitiful, my husband is going to flip but there is nothing I can do about it.
Cohen's birthday party this year is fire trucks. He loves them, and ambulances and police cars and anything with big wheels ~ He is a BOY! So I'm going to find invitations and stuff. I usually buy online but I don't really want to this year. They usually have the same things at card and party factory or Patti's party so I'm going to check those out. I bought him a shirt to wear that has a fire truck on it and it says it's my birthday. Super cute!!! Anyway, that's all for now.

I hate SHOTS!

2008-06-17T09:04:00.005-05:00

My poor little Kinser Lou!! She got 4 shots yesterday and I felt so terrible for her. Her little lip folded out and her eyes filled with tears....oooowwww sweet girl. I just HATE shots. I know they are for the best but come on, do they have to make her cry!!!! She was a little grumpy last night she wouldn't let us put her down. She would start to whine the second you leaned over to put her down! She is never like that. I gave her Tylenol and nursed her she went right to sleep. My little pumpkin.....oh I feel so bad for her. She slept all night and woke up in a good mood, smiling as always! It's better today! :(

2008-06-16T08:19:00.003-05:00

Our weekend went well, nothing much to report. We have started a 'responsibility chart' for Caleb and he is doing great. He kept doing things and asking for a mark. He exceeded his goal for last week so he got a reward, he chose skittles. I hope it helps with him. Yesterday afternoon he started getting very mouthy and I really wanted to take marks away but I didn't think it was a good idea after I thought about it.
Cohen was good. He turned into a tiger yesterday. He crawled around growling at us and trying to bite our toes. He is soooo funny! He would laugh so hard when Caleb would run from him screaming!! His little face turned red he was laughing so hard. He had chocolate on his face and Caleb was yelling 'don't get chocolate on my car' Cohen thought it was hilarious.
Kinley was a smidge fussy yesterday I really hope she isn't teething already! She wasn't terrible you just couldn't put her down for anything. She seemed hot and cranky and sleepy and just wouldn't give it up. Poor little girl. She has an appointment, 4 month check up this afternoon. I think she gets 4 shots. Ohhhh, poor baby girl! I HATE shots!!! Makes me feel terrible! Wish me luck.
We visited all the Fathers yesterday. I wish our days like that weren't so busy. Bubba and I don't really get to enjoy our days because we have to go to all the others houses too! Shoot, I forgot to mail 2 cards this morning!! Dang it. We didn't make it to Bubba's dads. We heard they had a thing but we didn't get a call and Bubba was a bit upset. I realize we should've gone over anyway since it was Fathers Day but Bubba is funny like that. He and his dad don't have a relationship like that. I have to get the cards and have them signed and mail them or they don't get sent. Same with Anita. I know she does it all, it's her handwriting. Oh well, I can't change any of it but I do feel sorry for Bubba when he gets upset about this stuff.

FRIDAY!!!

2008-06-13T09:16:00.007-05:00

My morning has been weird. I feel weird. My heart will race and I can't seem to catch my breath very well, felt like I weighed 900 pounds, I was sweating like a pig, couldn't open my eyes. It was horrible. My bp is 107/84 pulse 100 and o2 sat 98. On paper I'm perfect, the medicine is working, but I feel very off. I called the nurse and asked if I could take half my bp med and she said that would be fine and call her on Monday. She thought it was a pretty high starting dose too. I think my body is used to running on high and now the medicine is stopping that it & it's going to take some time to get used to it. Other than that my morning has been fine.
Cohen woke up at 3:22am so I laid with him, when I went back to bed Kinley wanted to eat which is unusual but I fed her then got back to bed, I have no idea what time it was. I had the worst dreams ever and woke up feeling like I just came out of a coma! I slept thru the alarm which never happens, Kinley usually wakes me around 6:00 for food and that starts my day. Bubba was talking to me and I guess I was just mumbling, he couldn't understand me but I felt SOOOOO weird.

2008-06-12T09:11:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Kinley was 4 months old! AND I am one month away from being the Mommy of a TWO year old!!!! My babies are growing so fast. Yesterday Kinley was nursing and looking at me with her big blue eyes, I said 'whatcha doin' sweet girl' and she stopped nursing and smiled so big and said ohhhhhhhhh, milk running out of her mouth. It was sooooooo sweet! She just kept talking to me. Oh, I could just eat her up!! I love our time!!!! Nursing has always, well mostly, been a joy for me. I love being so close to my babies. Watching them, listening to them, cuddling them while they nurse. The beginning is always hard but after that it's smooth sailing and I love it.

Cohen helped me get ready this morning! He put on blush and powder, he blow dried his hair, put one of Kinley's bow in his hair. It was cute. He was a good boy. I love my little kiddos! Caleb had a rough morning though, he cried and ran and hid behind my bed, the whole nine yards. I don't know why, I think it started off he came crying to me because he couldn't get his shorts on....well he was trying to put on Cohen's shorts! He threw a fit.. and the shorts and ran off. It just fell apart from there for him. Poor kid. He is NOT a morning person, I guess he gets it from me. Oops.

My little Cohen

2008-06-11T08:28:00.004-05:00

isn't sleeping well and I can't figure out why. He wakes up several times during the night and comes to find me or Bubba. Poor little guy. He's so groggy and just falls where ever you put him but he seems restless. He had a great day at Angies, they went swimming and he LOVES that. Sally took the kids to her house to visit with her parents and he was good there too. He fell asleep on the way home so we put him in his bed where he stayed until 9:30. He was up 2 more times after that.

Yesterday I picked up the house for about an hour then I laid on the couch for a 2 hour nap. It was wonderful. I stayed on the couch until the kids got home. Bubba made dinner and brought it to me, I didn't even get off the couch for that. It was nice. Thanks Sally!

I'm sure I will have to leave early today. They are flexing us because we have so few patients. I'm supposed to go pick out carpet and tile. I don't want to. I'm not in the mood and I'm also worried it won't all match. Bubba said to take his mom......um no. But on the other hand she does have good taste but all I will hear when people are over is 'don't you love the floors, I picked it out, I helped Kimberly, blah blah blah. I will go look but if I'm overwhelmed with it, I'm sure I will call her. Oh well, if anything goes wrong I will just say 'Judie picked it out' hee hee.

Happy Birthday to Misty....a few days early!

2008-06-10T09:16:00.004-05:00

I am so super sorry for how your party started off. I hated not being there. I was completely torn about the entire thing. I soooooo wanted to be here for it. It was a big deal and I HATED missing it.
I will tell you I had the best time picking out your card! I must have looked like a crazy person laughing out loud all alone!!! I want to take you to lunch this week for your birthday. Let me know when. I'm so happy it turned out great at the end!!!! You deserve it! Don't sweat turning 30, I will be there in a few weeks! I still plan on sharing a room at the nursing home with you, wearing our leather outfits and running over people in our wheelchairs, you know the ones with the spikes on the wheels! Ha HA HA! Do you remember that?!?!? Hilarious!
I love you, Happy Birthday! You are a great friend and I don't know what I'd do without you! Thanks for all the phone calls, bike rides, laughs and the memories!!!! Oh, and thanks for trusting me with chips and hot sauce when you went on vacation, sorry they got out! Heehee.

Monday

2008-06-10T09:02:00.004-05:00

After my breakdown, I knew I needed medical intervention. I made an appointment with Dr. Cravy and it went well. Except...my blood pressure was 135/106 which didn't really surprise me due to all the stress. He took blood for a thyroid check and put me on Prozac. The thing that sucks about that is that it takes 21 days for the full effect. He also put me on blood pressure medicine and a potassium suppliment. I pray this, with the help of God, will make things better for me. They said things like, don't sweat the small things, it's ok if the beds don't get made and the toys aren't picked up.....but is it?!? Not to me. I mean, the beds don't get made everday as it is, but The toys need to be picked up and everthing put away, dishes have to be done and dinner has to be done, baths have to be done, clothes have to be done. If I don't pick up the toys every chance I get you will not see the livingroom floor and it will take me forever to clean up!!! Yes, I have become obsessive, I realize that but you have to understand I have 3 children and a husband to clean up after EVERYDAY, if I let something slide today than tomorrow it will be much, much worse and take much more time to clean. I have to do it. I think the prozac will just help me not get upset about it. Ease the overwhelming feeling I have.
I do not think it's depression. To me depression is sleeping all the time, sad all the time, crying all the time, wanting to be alone and that isn't me. Sure I cry, but out of frustration, I'm tired from running 100 mph, I love being with my kids but yes they frustrate me, they are 4 and 1, they will do that! I'm just overwhelmed and that is why I need the medicine. I just hate that I can still feel this way for 20 more days. I will tell you, Bubba and the fit I threw have made me feel better.
Cohen had a GREAT day! He was terrific with me last night. Helped me make pizza, never cried or thew a fit. I think he feels much better. Thank GOD!! He went to sleep relatively quick but this morning I woke up to a bed with FOUR people in it. I was hugging the edge and so was Bubba, the boys were comfy though! Heehee. I took Cohen to his bed and he went right back to sleep. Kinley is great! She slept until 5:30am. I fed her and played with her then got ready and came to work. I"m good today. It's amazing what a mental breakdown will do for a person. Heehee.

Sunday

2008-06-10T08:49:00.004-05:00

Cohen woke up early and decided to poop. He had a MAJOR blow out! IT was awful. He went straight to the bath. He wouldn't eat anything, he fussed and went crazy all morning. He slept from Blanco to Brady, about 3 hours. We got home and he cried and screamed and fussed all day. It was exhausting. I called Misty to see how her party went and while talking to her Cohen decided to play in the toilet right after Caleb used it and poured it on the bathroom floor. He used his potty chair thing to scoop out pee. I was beside myself. I cleaned him up then started mopping the floor when my husband walked in and yelled at me for calling Misty instead of talking to him, I don't remember his exact words but it was to that effect. That did it. The bottom fell out. My heart started racing and all I could think of was run, just run. I found my shoes got in my car, started it and burst into tears. He came out and opened the door asked what I was doing, ummm hellllooo! He got mad and shut the door. I threw it into drive and left. I have never left before. I just drove and screamed and cried. I asked God and the telephone poles for help. The thoughts running though my head were thoughts I've never had and never want again. I was so angry and hurt I was out of control. Completely.
I drove to our new house and screamed and cried some more. I sounded like Caleb throwing a fit. I did it until I had no tears or energy to do it anymore. I got out of the car, walked around to compose myself as best I could then I drove home. When I got there Bubba had cleaned the living room, unpacked their bags and sorted that laundry. I was surprised, I half expected a screaming match when I returned. He didn't talk to me for a while, I just went in cooked dinner. I guess I just picked up where I left off. I felt a little bit better, I was patient with the kids and the rest of the evening went well. Bubba and I talked a little bit, I just told him I was completely overwhelmed with everything, I felt alone in this whole parenting situation because he is always 'too busy' to help out. He understood and he has helped since then. I think my leaving made something click in his head....I hope anyway. And that was my black Sunday.

Saturday

2008-06-09T09:51:00.005-05:00

Cohen woke up at around 6:30am and our day began. For some reason Kinley woke up to eat around 4am which is unusual but we were in an unfamiliar place for her. Cohen had a blow out in his diaper. Poop down his leg, but it cleaned up fast. I mention this for a reason you will find out in my Sunday post.
We went to Market Day in Wimberly and it was super hot. We didn't seem to stay long, I can't handle the heat and I really didn't find anything interesting. I did buy 2 bows for Miss Kinser and Cohen got a dump truck, like we need another one but he suckered his Grammie! Kristi and Amanda met us there and we shopped for a while. Later Kristi had to meet Dennis in Blanco cause he was taking Amanda for the summer. She said she would call us later. Ok, sure see ya!
We went back and took a nap and decided to go shopping. Found super cute shoes for me, Cohen and Kinley then we went to eat dinner and went to the park then to Dairy Queen for a blizzard. We never heard from Kristi. Apparently she had a date and didn't want to tell us. Whatever. We were not mad, it's really fine. Typical I guess.
Bedtime was not better this day. Cohen flipped out and made me crazy. Kinley went to bed around 9:15 and slept almost 12 hours!!!! She was worn out! Fast forward to Sunday....but first I have an appointment at 10:30 this morning so I will post the rest when I return to work.