updates on....us.

Today is so much better than yesterday. I slept well and Caleb had another great day. He hung out at home. He slept well, with me beside him no less. Off to school he went! He was excited too, he asked me to fix his hair..so cute. Thank you GOD!!!! I still run to him to feel for fever like a mad woman but I'm sure I'll get over that. His poor little hands and arms are all bruised up. Poor guy. He doesn't say much just points them out to me, 'that's where they gave me shots!' he says. I love him.

Cohen has been, dare I say, GREAT! No bad reports from school, he does great at home. Fingers crossed, he is over whatever his problem was. He is growing up. Boo hoo. He LOVES to see the deer come up at night. It's his new favorite thing. He will get everyone to the windows and sit there quietly as long as they are eating. He will whisper 'baby deer eat karn (corn), baby jump way (away)' he loves them. And I love him.

Kinley is growing up too. She has now figured out how to sit up from her army crawling position. She does the splits and walks herself up to a sitting position. It is so funny! I'm going to get her on film asap. She learned to do this over the weekend, while Caleb and I were in the hospital. Stinker! She has been giving lots of lovin' lately, I hope she isn't getting sick! I don't need anymore SICK!!! She was sleeping this morning with her bottom in the air so I ran and got the camera, snapped a picture and woke her up. She rolled over and smiled at me, that sweet sleepy little smile. Oh, she is so edibly sweet! I love her.

As for me, I'm feeling much better today. Not so weepy and sad. I still haven't figured out what my deal is but I think it's passing. Thank you LORD for that! I hate being that way. Feel like a bawl bag wuss....girl!

And Bubba, I'm sure he feels a bit neglected lately, understandably so. I miss him. I've been so caught up in sick kids and such that I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. I plan to make up for it...soon. I love him!!!

I'm blue...

My weekend started with my plans to go to 'girls night' but ended up in the ER with my son. He developed a fever at daycare of 101. No big deal right! Wrong, just a few hours later it was 104! I had given him Motrin earlier and it just kept going up, tried a temped bath and that got it down to 99 but shot right back up 20 minutes later. I called to speak with the 'on call' doctor but they NEVER CALLED BACK! So when I read 104 on the thermometer, we were off to the ER.

One HOUR of waiting later it was 104.8 and the doctor came in. "He has quite a fever! He is a sick little boy!" Gee thanks, didn't know that! Then my thoughts were, holy crap the doctor just said... They took blood and an xray. Confirmed pneumonia. First thing, this kid has showed NO sign of being sick. Sure Thursday he had a cough but it went away and that was IT! How on earth could he have pneumonia?!? Then they told us his 'infection count' which is his white count in his blood was very high and he would definitely be staying. Normal white count is 5 - 15 and his was 25. Usually a high white count indicates bacteria so they grew a culture. No bacteria. They decided his pneumonia was caused by a virus he had. But that still did not tell us why his white count was so high. Saturday morning it was 33! I panicked. The thoughts running thru my head, well the hundreds of possibilities, was leukemia. I know, that is crazy but I'm a mom and I am in panic mode! High fever, high white count, all I need is the vomiting.

They started an IV, four adults and two nurses to hold down this terribly sick little boy. Oh, I felt so terrible for him. My mom was crying, Caleb was crying, I was crying. It was horrible. The most horrible thing of all was this....

While waiting for his results to come in, he was sleeping. Sally and I were talking over him quietly and his eyes open. She says 'hey Caleb" or something to that effect. I say something but his eyes dont move. I figure he is still sleeping. Then hell breaks loose. He can't see. He is calling out " I need you Mommy, I just want to see you Mommy, I need to hold you Mommy!" I am holding him and rocking him and right in his face telling him Mommy is here honey, it's ok. His eyes are flinching back and forth like a blind persons do. His pupils were HUGE and he couldn't focus on anything. He was screaming for me and I was right there and he couldn't calm down. I broke down big time and cried and tried to comfort him but I couldn't.... this ranks as the official worst day of my life. I will never forget it and I can't stop replaying it in my head, it's all I can think about. It. was. horrible.

The doctor came in and said it was his fever and he would be ok. Their brain kind of shuts off what isn't important at the time to try and take over what it needs to. This case, his sight. Though he told me this I couldn't make sense of his words. Here I was, a mother holding her 4 year old son who could not see her anymore. The only thing I wanted was for him to be able to SEE me so he would be comforted. That is all. How could he stand there so calmly and tell me it was ok?! There was nothing ok about that.

Three days later he is perfectly fine! He runs around like nothing ever happened. He remembers nothing of that terrible night. Thank the Lord! I however will never forget. I watched him sleep, I watched him eat, I left him for a short time to get a shower. I am having a hard time getting past this for some reason. I tear up super easy. I'm sure it's sleep deprivation, unbelievable stress and who knows what else. I love my kids even deeper than before. I don't care about my job, I don't care about money, all I want is a long nap and to be with them.....

Happy Hump day.

Today is my first day back to work. I got here at 12. My sweet Kinser Lou has been sick. She has an ear infection, throat infection and snotty nose. She has had fever for a few days. Fever SUCKS! I have enjoyed my snuggle time though, she is trying her darnedest to grow out of it, stinker. But I have got tons of snuggles during the last 5 days.

I may not be here tomorrow either. My sitter has had this day planned for a while. I'm praying my mom or Bubba's mom will take, at least, the morning off so I can get a few hours. We will see.

My in laws came over last night to hang out. It was fun, they help out keeping the boys attention and such. Bubba has been playing in the dirt with the bobcat thingie. I'm so ready to have all this done and grass grown. No more tiny caleche foot prints on my wood floor! UGH!

Nothing much to report except...yesterday I was minding my own business, watching "Failure to launch" and eating cereal on the couch. I had just put kinley to sleep. And to my surprise here come 4 men walking across my back yard with a tub thing. It was the electric people laying the line to the shop. Why the surprise you ask?!? Well, I was in my tank top spaghetti strap thingie and pj pants.....nursing pad and all. I hauled ass to my room to put on clothes and brush my Mohawk down. I called my husband and told him to get the blinds people there asap, I am tired of giving a free show!!! The day before, the fencing people got one! SHHESH!

Happy FRIDAY!!

I can't tell you how happy I am that it is Friday! I've been waiting all week!!! Last night went better. Cohen and Caleb got up one time. All though I did wake up with a growth attached to my leg around 530. It was Caleb, he really 'snuck' in my bed, I was so exhausted I never noticed! The first time he got up he tapped my shoulder until I woke up. Guess he figured out if he didn't wake me up he could sleep there!

Something funny my child did this morning still makes me laugh this afternoon. I was making cinnamon rolls for breakfast and he called my name and when I looked over and here's my son...

Pants pulled down enough to moon me and he says 'CHICK A CHICK A BOW WOW'!

Ok, this is one of those moments as a parent I'm required to turn my head and NOT laugh. As hard as it was I did it. He hung his head. I asked where he learned it and he refused to tell me. I told him it was funny here and right now but he was NOT to do it at school. I was dying inside, laughing my butt off. I told Bubba and he went back into our room so he could laugh! Things they come up with!

My Kinser Lou was SEVEN MONTHS OLD yesterday! Holy Moly, my baby is growing up so fast. I can't believe it. Her new thing to do is hold on to her car seat handle when I put her in the car and shriek and giggle and yell, either I'm a bad driver or she's gonna LOVE roller coasters. It is sooooo cute. I love it. She just holds on and makes all kinds of noises. I love to see her laugh, her teeth are so adorable I could just eat her up. My yiddle girl!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend! Come on IKE!!!

Sleep...

Ok so, Monday nights sleep SUCKED and Tuesday night was much better, Wednesday night made up for that. I don't know what I'm going to do with these kids. They will NOT stay in their beds for nothin'. I attempted to bribe Caleb, yes BRIBE, I'm not ashamed of that either, I'm running on very little sleep and that makes for dangerous situations! Anyway, the bride didn't work.

The only good thing is Kinley slept great. I put the humidifier in her room and turned the fan off. She woke up happy as a lark with NO dried boogies on her little chapped nose. She is so sweet! She sits up like a champ now and is trying her best to crawl. She scoots around on her belly (army crawl) super fast!! Last night she was trying to find me so she scooted in the kitchen and I went to get the camera to video her and she got soooo mad at me, she was scooting and screaming at the same time. I can't wait to get my computer set up so I can send it out. If I can I will post it. Very funny.

Back to the sleep thing, I slept in every bed in the house, except for Kinser's. I had nightmares when I did sleep and I woke up with puffy eyes and blood shot eyes. Felt like soft balls. You could hide a snack in my eye lids they are so puffy. If anyone has advice I would GREATLY appreciate it on how to keep them in their beds. I'm losing my mind, literally.

Other than the sleep issue, I love our house. It is awesome. I can't wait to have time to unpack all our boxes and park my car in the garage. I can't wait to decorate! I did get a rocking chair for Kinley's room. I decided to get a white wooden outdoor one so when she is finished nursing I can put it on the back porch. Plus it was $78 instead of $200-400!! That's all for now, I need to go pump!!

OH, one more thing, Yesterday I got the boys superman pj's. They are super cute they have a cape and everything. The reason I couldn't resist was, my mother in law has a picture of my hubby wearing the same ones when he was about Calebs age! I loved it!!!! They flew around the house all evening! Too bad their super powers didn't' help them STAY IN THEIR OWN BEDS!!!

Ahhhh...

Last night went SO much better. Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers. Bubba did all the walking I never left my bed. It was great. We woke up with one kid in our bed, neither one of knows when or how he got there. Sneaky!!!
After dinner we took the kids on the Ranger to check the mail and for a ride around our property. Loved it. Just before the rain, the wind was cool on our faces and it smelled wonderful. We saw three deer, one of them a little baby...soooooo cute! It really calmed the kids down. Kinley kicked her legs and smiled and looked around the entire time. She loves it too. Caleb sat in the back, talking as if we could hear him, and Cohen helped Bubba drive smiling from ear to ear. I loved that moment. Everyone happy, everyone smiling and everyone together.
After the ride and baths we all sat on the couch and watched part of RV on tv. BOTH boys sat there, I could hardly believe my eyes. It was 8pm and Bubba really needed to get Cohen in bed but we were scared to move a muscle, we just looked at eachother and at him waiting. It was amazing. Bubba and I were in bed at 9pm, house quiet all we could hear was the rain.... What a great evening.

Oops..

I just talked to my husband on the phone. Called to tell me he loved me. How sweet. Well, apparently last night when he woke me up and i 'shut him down' I said something that I didn't remember until he reminded me. It wasn't very nice. Something like this...(in a VERY angry tone)...

'UGH, WHY DID YOU WAKE UP, I WAS FINALLY SLEEPING GOOD!?!?!? IF I HAD A GUN I'D SHOOT YOU!!!'

I'm really surprised he still apologized for waking me in the first place after that comment. Oops. Guess I told him.

What a day..

Last night I had a revolving door on my bedroom. I got virtually no sleep. I went to bed around 10 or so only to be woken up by my husband around 12. No need to tell you what for but I shut that down faster than ever. He did apologize, which I appreciate. He said he just woke up and that's all he could think about....I told him to think about ice cream and go to sleep!! He did. Sorry if TMI.

Cohen came in around 1 or 2 and I made Bubba take him back to bed. Caleb came in shortly after and I took him back. He asked me to lay with him so I did for a minute...or 30.

Woke up to Kinley crying. She NEVER waked during the night, she kept grinding her teeth so I think she is teething. She did wake up stuffy though. I had to rock her to sleep which took some time to accomplish.

Finally get back in bed and start to drift off and here comes Cohen again. I take him back, he goes right to sleep.

I get back in bed start to drift off and Kinley starts crying again. I lay there Praying to God for her to fall back to sleep. Nope crying gets louder and more intense. I go get her and bring her to my bed to nurse her. She eats and whimpers and finally falls asleep, I put her back in bed. She sleeps the rest of the night.

I go to sleep for an hour or so and here comes Caleb again. By this time I give up and let him sleep with us. I'm so stinking tired I would let the dog sleep with us. Next thing I know I hear the alarm. It's 530. I don't give a shit. I go back to sleep and Bubba wakes me at 615. I get up at 630. Of course I'm grumpy as all get out, I have big dark circles under my eyes and everyone else in the house seems to be on cloud NINE!!! UGH. I just want to go back to bed.

This brings me to my morning. Which is NO better. I get here and there are a million orders to enter and I'm super busy. I don't' have a Pharmacist or a tech to help, which is fine but he wont be in until 10 or so and I have nurses with issues I need solved. Anyway, I start to unit dose Maalox....and manage to spill the entire 16 oz bottle in my lap!!!! HOLY SHIT, it is freezing cold and I'm sure has some kind of menthol something or other in it because it is burning my legs. I call for back up scrubs. The pants are 3 feet too wide and 4 inches too short, the shirt could fit three of me, I'm glad I have my jacket to cover up a bit of this hideousness. I didn't' get IV"S out until 1110. I didn't get to pump until 1130, an HOUR late. I made all kinds of mistakes and I'm so freaking irritated about them I could scream!!! Simple mistakes the kind you can't believe you made because any idiot could take one glance at it and get it right!!!

Bubba called and said Trinity called him because Cohen has bitten someone. UGH. He went to the office Friday because he sat in time-out THREE times before lunch for pulling hair!!!!

I need a vacation...

It's 12:42 and I'm going to lunch, see ya.

No time...

My Caleb is sick. Fever 102, sore throat. His teacher was out with Strep Monday. I pray that isn't it. Dr. H is out today and I know Dr. P will want to 'wait and see'. Ugh. I am super busy at work today, admissions on every IV under that sun that I don't have. I wasted Primaxin this morning not paying attention to what the hell I was doing and made the weekend when it's only stable for 48 hours, wasted money and time. I'm irritated...

Got almost zero sleep last night between the sick one and the one who won't stay asleep in his bed. I'm exhausted...

Oh, one awesome thing..I got new dishes! I found them online so I called the store (Dillards) and they had almost all of them in stock. They are holding them for me. I am super excited about that. I had to order two bowls online with was no big deal. I can't wait to see them in my cabinet!EEK!

Talk more Monday, I have to relieve Bubba at lunch so he can go to work. Hope my day gets better, actually getting the dishes did make it better already! A nice long nap would be AWESOME! We will see what Caleb wants to do...

OUCH!!!

Last night I went to put Kinley to sleep and I got stung by a scorpion. First time ever IT. WAS. AWFUL! Excruciating pain. I screamed and yelled and cussed like a sailor. I guess I racked my foot right across him and he got me good. The boys came running....

Cohen "happen...mommy?"

Me "I got stung by a scorpion, OH SHIT OH SHIT OHHHHHH", " Don't say that! DONT SAY THAT" ,"OHHHH"

Cohen "Bee... sting... Mommy hurt?"

Me "NO, SCORPION - GET MOMMY'S SHOE! OHHHHHHHH!"

Cohen 'pion...hurt??'

Bless the poor child. He was just trying to find out what happened but I was hurting like crazy. I can not explain to you the pain in my toe. It felt as big as my head! I thought at one time it would explode. The pain lasted about 30 minutes. A TERRIBLE 30 minutes. I would rather be in LABOR than be stung again if that tells you the pain I felt.

This morning there is just a red spot on the bottom of my 3rd toe little toe. Could it have found a more tender place?!?!?!?

In a nutshell

Work. So much stinking drama who needs daytime tv! I'm sick of it. Rumors flying this way and that, I wish I had ear plugs. Then again...I want the juice! Isn't that funny. I will listen to people who I trust are speaking the truth or have something good but others I could keep on walking.

My house is wonderful. I love it. I'm meeting a man today at 4 for blinds and shutters. I love the openness of the windows during the day but at night..not so much. I know the only thing out there are deer and varmints but I don't want them staring either! I REALLY want to organize Kinser's closet and clothes. I can't seem to get in there for the life of me! Someone always needs me for something. I swear they know when I'm finally getting to it and the sensor goes off and I hear "MOOOMMYYYYY!" I walk away thinking "maybe tomorrow".

I have had a problem for the last three days and it's driving me nuts. I have clogged duct or something. I feel like I've been hit in the boob with a baseball bat! Honestly! I can feel my shirt, I can feel it if I raise my arm, it is super tender. I keep checking for heat or redness. I fully expect to see a massive bruise but nothing on the surface shows a problem. I have nursed her and nursed her with no relief. This is the downside to nursing. :(

Hello, I've missed you!

It seems like years since I had time to post. I've been soooo busy. We got to move into our new house this weekend!!!! YAY! I love it. I still have soooo much to do but slowly it will get done. Our new bedroom suit is supposed to be delivered today. I'm really excited about that! I've never had one so this is big for me! My four year old has had two bedrooms sets and is sleeping on Ralph Lauren sheets watching a flat screen tv! (All thanks to Mere Mere no less). He is one spoiled little dude!!!
Cohen is sick today. :( Bubba had to take him to the doctor. He sounds like he has croup again. He had a major strider last night. I was super close to hauling him to the ER for a breathing treatment. My medicine had expired so I trashed it before the move. Don't you just love how that seems to happen. If you don't have it.....that is when you need it!! Dr. H doesn't seem to think it's full blown croup yet. He said whatever it is, it's in his vocal cords so he gave him zithromax. Let's pray that works. This does, however, explain his weekend behavior! WWHHOO! He was rotten. I contemplated my decision to become a parent!!
Anyway, that's all for now. I have to leave around lunch today so I will post more later!