Our Weekend

It was good. Saturday Bubba and I went to Abilene to the granite warehouse. We picked out what we wanted and we will find out the prices today, good luck to us. Caleb went to the boat races with Judie and Pw, from what I hear he played with the kids around him more than he watched but he had a good time. He spent Friday and Saturday night with them. He was NOT ready to come home yesterday. Makes me a little sad but he is the center of attention and gets WHATEVER he wants over there so I guess I understand. Cohen and Kinley stayed with my mom and dad on Saturday while we went to Abilene. I missed them terribly. When I walked in Cohen said "Home, shoes - MOM" At least he missed me!

Last night I decided on of my absolute favorite things to do with Kinley is hold her while she sleeps and rest my face on her head and just breath her in. I love the way her head smells! It's weird, I know but I can't get enough of it! I sat there for an hour just breathing her in. She is so sweet. I don't know if I do this more with her because she is my last baby or what but I just can't get enough of her. I miss her terribly when she is away. I miss the boys too, don't get me wrong but it's different with her. Maybe it's because she is dependant on me for food and the boys are not, or because she is cuddly and the boys don't do it much anymore. I dunno.

Oh YES, Misty gave me my birthday present a little early - AND I LOVE IT! It's a necklace with each of the kids names hand stamped on a charm Kinley has a flower under her name and the boys a star and it is beautiful! I wore it yesterday. Caleb loved it too!! I wish I could wear it to work!!!! THANK YOU MISTY!!!!

Pictures

Caleb took this picture of Kinley! What a great photographer, I also have a nice one of the vacuum cleaner!


Someone got into the lotion at the sitter and styled his hair! He didn't want to smile. Stinker.

Caleb played dress up too! Batman to the rescue!!

A little privacy please...

This is how Kinley nurses now. She has to cover her face! I don't know how she breathes under there but if I move her hand down she will put it right back!!!

Our little Fireman!

WOOOOOO WOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOO WOOOOOO! Fireman coming thru!!!!!

Isn't he cute! He loves fire trucks and pretty much anything with a light or a siren. He was playing dress up. I love this picture!

Today is...

going to be a busy day for me! Our house is being inspected tomorrow so I have to go clean it up. Bubba has to rearrange the garage so the inspector can get in the attic and the closet. I'm going to attempt to pack a few boxes also. We will see how far I get. When I start cleaning I will probably get anal about it. I'm in the mood to clean so it all works out. There is so much 'stuff' laying around it drives me CRAZY!!!!!
I will be leaving a bit before lunch today and tomorrow I will be the one there to let the inspector in, that is at 1pm and Friday Angie is off so I will have the little kids! I'm glad it is slow otherwise we'd be in trouble with all my busy-ness! Anyway, that's all for now!

Do you ever...

...look at yourself in the mirror and wonder what in the world has happened to that face?!?!? This morning while getting ready for work I just had to stop and look and sit...and it was a bit depressing and maybe even disturbing. Lines on my forehead, sunspots, age spots, uneven skin tone, lines, wrinkles, dark circles...it was not pretty. I want my teenage complexion back. My mom always looked young for her age. In her 40's she looks a young thirty something and in her 50's she looked a young 40 something. Why can't I look a young twenty something? I look like I'm about to turn THIRTY and not an hour younger!!! I don't want to get old. I look at myself and see my Granny. I'm afraid I'm going to turn around and be that 95 year old lady...I'm just not ready for that.
Don't try to tell me I'm over reacting because I'm not, really, I'm just writing what I'm feeling. I'm not having a midlife crisis early. I'm fine. Just wrinkly, that's all. I will be THIRTY in 20 days. :( I don't care that my age will be 30, I care that my appearance shows I'm 30. That makes me sad. Maybe I need new make-up to make me feel better, or a new haircut, or some new jewelry...I don't know.

Monday already.....

Geez the weekend flew by! We had fun. Saturday Bubba and I took the kiddos to the park and we fed the ducks and turtles. There were tons and tons of turtles, the kids were mesmerized! Caleb was upset, when he tried to give the bread to the turtles tons of fish would swim up super fast and eat it before the turtle knew what happened. He wanted me to go talk to the fish and let them know HIS bread was for the turtle NOT the fish. Oh honey, if it were just that easy!
Yesterday we just hung out at home, the kids played in the pool and we watched tv. Nothing much to report. Cohen has a bit of a rough day, he spent LOTS of time in the corner. :( He kept throwing toys or anything he could find at Caleb. I did feel sorry for Caleb at first, until he just agged it on. I don't know what to do other than time-out's and 'NO THROWING' to get him to stop. He is an aggressive little guy, you don't want to piss him off! He got a couple of spankings but nothing helped him. Then it was Calebs turn I guess. He was sassing like nobodys business. Ohhhh, the kid. I found a spoon...which is now known at the 'spanking spoon' Caleb does NOT like this......which is good for me! Just in case you are wondering it is made of bamboo and it has a wide spoon part so it fits his bum well. It only took one time then all I had to do was threaten. I felt horrible for using it but he left me no other option. Don't you hate that?!?! Why does he need to push so far?! This I don't understand, but I set the limit and all is well today!
Oh, Caleb decided to pick Kinley up yesterday! HOLY MOLY. He did fine but my heart sank. We explained when he can and can't do it, we will see where we go from there. He picked her up off her blanket and put her in the bumbo chair and in her bouncer, I think it made him feel like a big kid. That's all for now. Have a good day!

Happy Friday!!!

TGIF!!!!!! I will be leaving work early again today. Two patients are going home so we will be down to a measly 6. That is ridiculous! I might take Caleb to the movies. Kung Fu Ninja starts at 12:10. We will see.
Last night went well. We were all asleep by 9:45pm, mom and dad included! Yippee! Caleb woke up and joined us around midnight and Cohen around 1 something, right when the storms started. His diaper leaked and I think that is what woke him because right after I changed him and put him back in bed he went right to sleep. Oh, I can't wait for the day I go to sleep with my husband and wake up with him...just him. I wonder if that will ever happen. When we move into our house I plan on making major changes. Cohen will have a new bed, Caleb will have a new queen size bed and they are going to SLEEP in them by gollie! They will have their own rooms to throw fits in, no more fueling each other at bedtime. No more Caleb on the couch. Wooo Hooo! Wish me luck!Also... NO MORE WALKING AROUND AND EATING DINNER! That makes me nuts, everyone WILL sit at the table and finish dinner! Now, I've said my peace and I'm good! Heehee.

Our house...and pictures.

Kinley wanted to check out the new house too! Sweet smiley girl!


The boys splashing in the water!



Bubba wetting down the newly poured cement for the barn!




They will pour the rest on Monday. What is not poured is porches! YEAH!!!!

The Masonry work is done!!!! Yippee. View from the east side!

View from the driveway! 11326 Hidden View Dr.

I am so excited. They promised the tape and floaters would be there Monday to finish up. I don't know who comes next but I'm super excited. I can't wait to move in!!!!!!

Barn

They are pouring concrete for our barn today. I'm excited to see it. It is enormous! I told Bubba as soon as I saw it roped off that I was NOT sweeping that thing...it's ALL his baby. I know he is excited about it and that makes it much more fun for me!!! I asked him this morning if it would still be wet this evening and he quickly said 'No, you can't put hand prints in it' WHAT?!? I gave him a look because he KNOWS I want the kids hand prints or foot prints in cement somewhere at our new house. So we agreed on the sidewalk. :[ It is a moment in time, the ages and sizes of our kids when we first move into our new home will never be the same and I want that frozen in time. I want to look back in 20 years and see those little feet (or hands). You know?!?!
P.S. Bubba found baby longhorns that he wants. I'm a wee bit nervous about a cow. I mean what if it dies, we cant just put it in a trash bag, we have rent a tractor or something to dig a MASSIVE hole and what if it dies right by the house.....then I have a graveyard right outside my door because we can't move the darn thing!!! I don't think he thinks about these things! I think we sould start smaller....like a goat or a chicken. I can dig a hole for a chicken! We will see.

Bedtime!

I think it went pretty well! There was very little screaming and crying. Bubba put Cohen down around 8pm and I made Caleb lay on the couch while I pumped then I laid on the couch with him. Much to my surprise he stayed there. We watched Super Nanny then went to bed. Bubba went to bed around 9:30 and I followed at 10:00. Cohen slept ALL night which was wonderful but Kinley filled in the void. If it's not one it's the other. She woke up at 11:30 crying, which never happens, I nursed her and she went right back to sleep. Weird! Caleb woke me up about 4:30am to ask if it was wake-up time, I said no and he went right back to sleep. I was thinking way more words then 'no' but that's all that came out! Thankfully.
I got tons of laundry folded and put away between 7 and 8, I'm still wondering how that happened. That is usually a crazy time at our house. Bubba had sock duty, Sally and I folded and Caleb help me put away. It was nice.

Pictures!

Here is Kinley 'talking' to me!


Cohen's new 'do' courtesy of Radek at Daycare!



He is so cute!

OK SO..

I'm here all alone and I've done everything on my 'to do' list....which I started approximately 20 minutes ago! It sucks not to have anything to do however I do like being here all alone. Just me and the radio, I only get this kind of time in the car...on my way to pick up someone loud! Heehee.
Reading back on previous posts seems like all I've done is complain! Lets get one thing straight, I LOVE my life. Things could definitely be tweaked here and there but for the most part it's great! I have small children and that is hard. Yes I've thought seriously about beating my husband with a frying pan at one time or another but I LOVE him dearly and would walk through fire for him and he would do the same for me (I hope:) and I adore the very children who make me want to take a long walk off a short peer from time to time. They can melt my heart in less than a second with their big blue eyes, or toothless grins, or I love you's. But what Mother can say any different?!? Motherhood is awesome and horrible at the same time all mixed together with a million other emotions and descriptions. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a wife and a mother and I wouldn't change that decision! You have to be there to fully understand what I'm talking about.
I just wanted to clarify these things for anyone who might look at this and think...gosh I would hate to be her! I love me, I love them, they are all mine and for that I thank God everyday! Thank you Lord for blessing me with wonderful people to share my days,...and nights! I have great family AND FRIENDS!

Wednesday......

why can't it be Friday?!? I do get to stay at work all day today! WOOO HOOO. I'm bored and tired and don't wanna be here. Sound familiar? I feel like a broken record!
Cohen got his hair cut at daycare yesterday! Heehee, by a 5 year old. He took a snip right off the top. The funny thing is I work with his mom and she read the email first and ran to apologize to me, I thought she was going to cry. It's really no big deal. It is just hair, it will grow back. I'm going to take a picture. Kids! Not long ago Caleb was doing homework, he had to cut out pictures beginning with whatever letters they were working on and glue it to the paper, anyway he snipped his hair in two places in the back...looked like moths had attacked him. It was really funny. He tried so hard to play it off, didn't work!
Yesterday Cohen was playing in his little pool and I was sitting in the chair watching while he crouched down by the fence to poop. I asked him what he was doing and he looked away with a grin. I asked if he was pooping to which he replied very quickly and loudly "NO POOP!" and I said ok. A few minutes later he came over tapping his diaper and saying "Ewww!" I said "Did you poop?" to which he replied "NO.... Baby...poop!" I laughed and took him inside....let's get the baby's poop out of your diaper! He is so funny these days, if he toots he will laugh and blame it on Bubba or Kinley even if they are not there! I guess it's a guy thing from the beginning!!! Silly kid!

I'm bored

I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored! We have a whopping 7 patients! If this doesn't end soon I don't know what will happen! It is a bit ridiculous!
I have already made IV's, a gymboree purchase, checked the baby center website, pumped, chatted, read a magazine and it's only 11am! What a long flippin' day. I'm sure we have to leave for the day at lunch again today. My hours for last week are pitiful, my husband is going to flip but there is nothing I can do about it.
Cohen's birthday party this year is fire trucks. He loves them, and ambulances and police cars and anything with big wheels ~ He is a BOY! So I'm going to find invitations and stuff. I usually buy online but I don't really want to this year. They usually have the same things at card and party factory or Patti's party so I'm going to check those out. I bought him a shirt to wear that has a fire truck on it and it says it's my birthday. Super cute!!! Anyway, that's all for now.

I hate SHOTS!

My poor little Kinser Lou!! She got 4 shots yesterday and I felt so terrible for her. Her little lip folded out and her eyes filled with tears....oooowwww sweet girl. I just HATE shots. I know they are for the best but come on, do they have to make her cry!!!! She was a little grumpy last night she wouldn't let us put her down. She would start to whine the second you leaned over to put her down! She is never like that. I gave her Tylenol and nursed her she went right to sleep. My little pumpkin.....oh I feel so bad for her. She slept all night and woke up in a good mood, smiling as always! It's better today! :(

Our weekend went well, nothing much to report. We have started a 'responsibility chart' for Caleb and he is doing great. He kept doing things and asking for a mark. He exceeded his goal for last week so he got a reward, he chose skittles. I hope it helps with him. Yesterday afternoon he started getting very mouthy and I really wanted to take marks away but I didn't think it was a good idea after I thought about it.
Cohen was good. He turned into a tiger yesterday. He crawled around growling at us and trying to bite our toes. He is soooo funny! He would laugh so hard when Caleb would run from him screaming!! His little face turned red he was laughing so hard. He had chocolate on his face and Caleb was yelling 'don't get chocolate on my car' Cohen thought it was hilarious.
Kinley was a smidge fussy yesterday I really hope she isn't teething already! She wasn't terrible you just couldn't put her down for anything. She seemed hot and cranky and sleepy and just wouldn't give it up. Poor little girl. She has an appointment, 4 month check up this afternoon. I think she gets 4 shots. Ohhhh, poor baby girl! I HATE shots!!! Makes me feel terrible! Wish me luck.
We visited all the Fathers yesterday. I wish our days like that weren't so busy. Bubba and I don't really get to enjoy our days because we have to go to all the others houses too! Shoot, I forgot to mail 2 cards this morning!! Dang it. We didn't make it to Bubba's dads. We heard they had a thing but we didn't get a call and Bubba was a bit upset. I realize we should've gone over anyway since it was Fathers Day but Bubba is funny like that. He and his dad don't have a relationship like that. I have to get the cards and have them signed and mail them or they don't get sent. Same with Anita. I know she does it all, it's her handwriting. Oh well, I can't change any of it but I do feel sorry for Bubba when he gets upset about this stuff.

FRIDAY!!!

My morning has been weird. I feel weird. My heart will race and I can't seem to catch my breath very well, felt like I weighed 900 pounds, I was sweating like a pig, couldn't open my eyes. It was horrible. My bp is 107/84 pulse 100 and o2 sat 98. On paper I'm perfect, the medicine is working, but I feel very off. I called the nurse and asked if I could take half my bp med and she said that would be fine and call her on Monday. She thought it was a pretty high starting dose too. I think my body is used to running on high and now the medicine is stopping that it & it's going to take some time to get used to it. Other than that my morning has been fine.
Cohen woke up at 3:22am so I laid with him, when I went back to bed Kinley wanted to eat which is unusual but I fed her then got back to bed, I have no idea what time it was. I had the worst dreams ever and woke up feeling like I just came out of a coma! I slept thru the alarm which never happens, Kinley usually wakes me around 6:00 for food and that starts my day. Bubba was talking to me and I guess I was just mumbling, he couldn't understand me but I felt SOOOOO weird.

Yesterday Kinley was 4 months old! AND I am one month away from being the Mommy of a TWO year old!!!! My babies are growing so fast. Yesterday Kinley was nursing and looking at me with her big blue eyes, I said 'whatcha doin' sweet girl' and she stopped nursing and smiled so big and said ohhhhhhhhh, milk running out of her mouth. It was sooooooo sweet! She just kept talking to me. Oh, I could just eat her up!! I love our time!!!! Nursing has always, well mostly, been a joy for me. I love being so close to my babies. Watching them, listening to them, cuddling them while they nurse. The beginning is always hard but after that it's smooth sailing and I love it.

Cohen helped me get ready this morning! He put on blush and powder, he blow dried his hair, put one of Kinley's bow in his hair. It was cute. He was a good boy. I love my little kiddos! Caleb had a rough morning though, he cried and ran and hid behind my bed, the whole nine yards. I don't know why, I think it started off he came crying to me because he couldn't get his shorts on....well he was trying to put on Cohen's shorts! He threw a fit.. and the shorts and ran off. It just fell apart from there for him. Poor kid. He is NOT a morning person, I guess he gets it from me. Oops.

My little Cohen

isn't sleeping well and I can't figure out why. He wakes up several times during the night and comes to find me or Bubba. Poor little guy. He's so groggy and just falls where ever you put him but he seems restless. He had a great day at Angies, they went swimming and he LOVES that. Sally took the kids to her house to visit with her parents and he was good there too. He fell asleep on the way home so we put him in his bed where he stayed until 9:30. He was up 2 more times after that.

Yesterday I picked up the house for about an hour then I laid on the couch for a 2 hour nap. It was wonderful. I stayed on the couch until the kids got home. Bubba made dinner and brought it to me, I didn't even get off the couch for that. It was nice. Thanks Sally!

I'm sure I will have to leave early today. They are flexing us because we have so few patients. I'm supposed to go pick out carpet and tile. I don't want to. I'm not in the mood and I'm also worried it won't all match. Bubba said to take his mom......um no. But on the other hand she does have good taste but all I will hear when people are over is 'don't you love the floors, I picked it out, I helped Kimberly, blah blah blah. I will go look but if I'm overwhelmed with it, I'm sure I will call her. Oh well, if anything goes wrong I will just say 'Judie picked it out' hee hee.

Happy Birthday to Misty....a few days early!

I am so super sorry for how your party started off. I hated not being there. I was completely torn about the entire thing. I soooooo wanted to be here for it. It was a big deal and I HATED missing it.
I will tell you I had the best time picking out your card! I must have looked like a crazy person laughing out loud all alone!!! I want to take you to lunch this week for your birthday. Let me know when. I'm so happy it turned out great at the end!!!! You deserve it! Don't sweat turning 30, I will be there in a few weeks! I still plan on sharing a room at the nursing home with you, wearing our leather outfits and running over people in our wheelchairs, you know the ones with the spikes on the wheels! Ha HA HA! Do you remember that?!?!? Hilarious!
I love you, Happy Birthday! You are a great friend and I don't know what I'd do without you! Thanks for all the phone calls, bike rides, laughs and the memories!!!! Oh, and thanks for trusting me with chips and hot sauce when you went on vacation, sorry they got out! Heehee.

Monday

After my breakdown, I knew I needed medical intervention. I made an appointment with Dr. Cravy and it went well. Except...my blood pressure was 135/106 which didn't really surprise me due to all the stress. He took blood for a thyroid check and put me on Prozac. The thing that sucks about that is that it takes 21 days for the full effect. He also put me on blood pressure medicine and a potassium suppliment. I pray this, with the help of God, will make things better for me. They said things like, don't sweat the small things, it's ok if the beds don't get made and the toys aren't picked up.....but is it?!? Not to me. I mean, the beds don't get made everday as it is, but The toys need to be picked up and everthing put away, dishes have to be done and dinner has to be done, baths have to be done, clothes have to be done. If I don't pick up the toys every chance I get you will not see the livingroom floor and it will take me forever to clean up!!! Yes, I have become obsessive, I realize that but you have to understand I have 3 children and a husband to clean up after EVERYDAY, if I let something slide today than tomorrow it will be much, much worse and take much more time to clean. I have to do it. I think the prozac will just help me not get upset about it. Ease the overwhelming feeling I have.
I do not think it's depression. To me depression is sleeping all the time, sad all the time, crying all the time, wanting to be alone and that isn't me. Sure I cry, but out of frustration, I'm tired from running 100 mph, I love being with my kids but yes they frustrate me, they are 4 and 1, they will do that! I'm just overwhelmed and that is why I need the medicine. I just hate that I can still feel this way for 20 more days. I will tell you, Bubba and the fit I threw have made me feel better.
Cohen had a GREAT day! He was terrific with me last night. Helped me make pizza, never cried or thew a fit. I think he feels much better. Thank GOD!! He went to sleep relatively quick but this morning I woke up to a bed with FOUR people in it. I was hugging the edge and so was Bubba, the boys were comfy though! Heehee. I took Cohen to his bed and he went right back to sleep. Kinley is great! She slept until 5:30am. I fed her and played with her then got ready and came to work. I"m good today. It's amazing what a mental breakdown will do for a person. Heehee.

Sunday

Cohen woke up early and decided to poop. He had a MAJOR blow out! IT was awful. He went straight to the bath. He wouldn't eat anything, he fussed and went crazy all morning. He slept from Blanco to Brady, about 3 hours. We got home and he cried and screamed and fussed all day. It was exhausting. I called Misty to see how her party went and while talking to her Cohen decided to play in the toilet right after Caleb used it and poured it on the bathroom floor. He used his potty chair thing to scoop out pee. I was beside myself. I cleaned him up then started mopping the floor when my husband walked in and yelled at me for calling Misty instead of talking to him, I don't remember his exact words but it was to that effect. That did it. The bottom fell out. My heart started racing and all I could think of was run, just run. I found my shoes got in my car, started it and burst into tears. He came out and opened the door asked what I was doing, ummm hellllooo! He got mad and shut the door. I threw it into drive and left. I have never left before. I just drove and screamed and cried. I asked God and the telephone poles for help. The thoughts running though my head were thoughts I've never had and never want again. I was so angry and hurt I was out of control. Completely.
I drove to our new house and screamed and cried some more. I sounded like Caleb throwing a fit. I did it until I had no tears or energy to do it anymore. I got out of the car, walked around to compose myself as best I could then I drove home. When I got there Bubba had cleaned the living room, unpacked their bags and sorted that laundry. I was surprised, I half expected a screaming match when I returned. He didn't talk to me for a while, I just went in cooked dinner. I guess I just picked up where I left off. I felt a little bit better, I was patient with the kids and the rest of the evening went well. Bubba and I talked a little bit, I just told him I was completely overwhelmed with everything, I felt alone in this whole parenting situation because he is always 'too busy' to help out. He understood and he has helped since then. I think my leaving made something click in his head....I hope anyway. And that was my black Sunday.

Saturday

Cohen woke up at around 6:30am and our day began. For some reason Kinley woke up to eat around 4am which is unusual but we were in an unfamiliar place for her. Cohen had a blow out in his diaper. Poop down his leg, but it cleaned up fast. I mention this for a reason you will find out in my Sunday post.
We went to Market Day in Wimberly and it was super hot. We didn't seem to stay long, I can't handle the heat and I really didn't find anything interesting. I did buy 2 bows for Miss Kinser and Cohen got a dump truck, like we need another one but he suckered his Grammie! Kristi and Amanda met us there and we shopped for a while. Later Kristi had to meet Dennis in Blanco cause he was taking Amanda for the summer. She said she would call us later. Ok, sure see ya!
We went back and took a nap and decided to go shopping. Found super cute shoes for me, Cohen and Kinley then we went to eat dinner and went to the park then to Dairy Queen for a blizzard. We never heard from Kristi. Apparently she had a date and didn't want to tell us. Whatever. We were not mad, it's really fine. Typical I guess.
Bedtime was not better this day. Cohen flipped out and made me crazy. Kinley went to bed around 9:15 and slept almost 12 hours!!!! She was worn out! Fast forward to Sunday....but first I have an appointment at 10:30 this morning so I will post the rest when I return to work.

Friday

I have no clue where to begin. I think I will just do this by days in stages. Friday was good. I was off all morning to pack and load the car for our trip to my sisters. Mission accomplished. I also got my toes done,which made me happy. We left around lunch and the kids slept almost all the way there. Cohen decided to get into the dog pool, not surprised. He became a stinker and eventually dove into it. He was covered in gunk and God knows what, he was also stung by a bee. Bubba is allergic so I was worried but he was fine. Fast forward to bedtime...

Cohen screamed and kicked and did the alligator roll and screamed some more. I thought I'd lose my mind. I felt horrible because it wasn't my house and he was disturbing everyone. He finally fell asleep when I told him uncle Dennis was coming. That kid is scared of NO ONE, why he is of Dennis I have no clue but it worked and that's all that matters. I'm so sick and tired of the bedtime drama. It's exhausting and frustrating and ridiculous. All in all the day went well.

My weekend

Well I have been given the day off tomorrow. Thank you Sally! I have to pack for me and the kids, Bubba - you are on your own. I didn't know how I was going to get things done. I am super stressed out and this helps me so much. I'm sure it will not help my pay check but at this point I don't care.
Bubba and Caleb are going to Dallas for the Nascar Truck race and the little ones and I are going with my mom to San Marcos. I'm ready to get away but at the same time I dread all the packing, loading, unloading, loading and unloading, laundry, you know the drill. I hope the kids do well on the trip. Kinley is hating her car seat right now and Cohen isn't much of a fan of long drives. I'm bringing the DVD player and we are leaving at nap time so I PRAY we make it ok.
That's all for now, hope you all have a good weekend and I will see you back on Monday!!!

My crummy troubles...

Well, today I'm exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I had a terrible night and a not so great morning. I do not really care to go into detail so I will just sum it up.

Bedtime for my children is horrible. Now that Cohen is out of his crib he will not stay in bed and he bangs on the walls and door. Caleb screams bloody murder and finds any excuse possible to get out of his room or one of us in it. It takes HOURS to get them quiet, it is completely ridiculous. I've had enough, last night I just cried with them. I didn't know what else to do. We make deals, we beg, plead, promise, you name it we've tried it. Nothing works. They play off each other. When one is quiet the other takes over. It made the devil come out in me last night and all I can do is pray about it. I feel like a horrible, out of control parent.

Bubba and I are having issues as well. He is always 'too busy' with work to do anything else, he brings it home now. I have had enough of this too. He says all I do is gripe at him but all he says to me is 'I'm too busy' he has stopped helping with the kids, the house, he doesn't even call me during the day anymore. Work seems more important. I know he is also super stressed about the selling our house and building the new one. I'm trying to to be bitter toward him, Lord am I trying, but it's getting more and more difficult to swallow. I'm at a loss.....

Kara-bear

My Kara is all grown up!!!! Sniff Sniff. She is driving now and will graduate next year! She is just beautiful, I'm getting so old! :( Just yesterday I was french braiding her hair and dressing her up and now look at her....

Today

Is going to be a busy day for me. Jennifer is being induced this morning so I will run over and check on her a few times. My grandpa is doing well today, talking like crazy so I will check on him about every hour or so today plus I have to pump twice and fit in work somewhere! Good luck to me. I feel like all my days are a blur, I have so much to get done I never have time to think about anything else until it's time for bed and then....it's time for bed!

I am a bit concerned about my milk supply. This morning I nursed Kinley on one side, she seemed full and fell asleep while I was trying to burp her. So the other side was super full, or so I thought. Looked full to me, felt full but when I pumped on that side I only got 3 ounces. After going ALL night! That side still seems bigger than the side she nursed on. That is a concern! Either my supply is diminishing or something is wrong with my pump. Not sure which but I am taking my fenugreek after every meal to up my milk supply. And I will also drink a bottle of water each time I pump. Wish me luck, this is so depressing!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday to my hubby! Today is his 31st birthday. We are having dinner tonight, he isn't a fan of parties so he just wanted family and the bare minimum at that! Bummer cause I love birthdays!!! He seemed to be in a pretty good mood this morning, hopefully (fingers crossed) he stays that way. Caleb got him a movie and I don't know what to get him. He needs shorts so I think I will give him a gift certificate, very impersonal gift from your wife I know but I don't know what to get him. He gives no hints. Guys! We give the hints and they don't get them and they don't even bother sending them for us to pick up.....what fun is that?!?!? Anyway, Happy Birthday to my smoocher I hope he has a wonderful day!!!!!

I think...

My husband is going to have a massive coronary infarction before this house is finished. He is so super stressed it is not funny. I want my husband back. Fast. He just called and the masonry people put up rock instead of brick under the counter in the living room, $3000 extra bucks he said we can NOT pay for, they said it was fine, their mistake, the fence people are there today and can't find the markers, you mean the big stick in the ground with the bright orange flag?!? Ok. The cement people are pouring the slab for the barn and the Tape and float people better be there today or his head may just explode!!! I wish I could alleviate some of the stress but there I know nothing about this stuff. I just say "ok", "uh huh", or "I like that one." Our builder gave us a closing date of Aug 15. Bubba is NOT happy about that because it was supposed to be July. He is supposed to call him back and see what he can do. I'm sure he gave himself extra time because they seem to be as slow as Christmas right now. Anyway, pray for him. Pray for me. Pray for the people Bubba will chew up and spit out...

My weekend...

was good! Busy, but good. Yesterday we had to show our house at 3pm so we sent the boys to Judie's so we could get everything in order. I called my mom around 8am to see if she wanted one but she didn't answer, I have my suspicions, but Judie wanted them both anyway! She was exhausted when we got there to pick them up! They are very busy boys!

We sold our house, sniff sniff. I knew all along it had to be done and everything but I couldn't help but get a smidgen emotional about it. That is where we brought our babies home, the pecan tree in the back yard was a wedding gift from Bubba's granddad that died from cancer and there are tiny bacon grease hand prints left by a one year old Caleb by the fireplace. Sloan chipped the plaster on the wall with his head chasing the cat around the corner, Sloan died last year. There are many crayon masterpieces on the wall behind the computer table. Our first house!!! I hate to leave it but I know we are beginning a whole new chapter of our lives and that is excited but on the other hand we are ending a wonderful one....our beginning as a family. :( I can't imagine the water works when we have packed the last box and drive away from OUR house for the last time....

The lady that is buying it is wonderful. We will totally visit her. She is excited which makes me excited for her. She is in her 50's with 2 dogs and a cat, her husband died from cancer and her brother and his wife live 4 houses down so it's perfect for her.

On a much brighter note....Kinley rolled over yesterday!!!! Such a big girl! She was in her pack n play while I was cooking and it sounded like she pulled her blanket over her face, when Bubba checked on her she was on her tummy with her arms straight by her sides bobbing her head like a baby chicken, it was cute! She just needs to pull those arms up and she will have it down! My baby girl is growing up!